A Cutting Edge Haunted House Marathon

If you haven’t yet paid a visit to Dallas-Fort Worth’s Cutting Edge Haunted House this year, you’re in luck. Cutting Edge is open tonight, tomorrow night, and every night next week, straight through Halloween! That’s a marathon 11 days in a row that America’s favorite haunted attraction will be open for your enjoyment, with the grand finale to be held on Saturday, November 2nd.

And just how does a zombie prep for such an arduous run of performances? “Treadmills,” says Cutting Edge’s Master of the Macabre, Todd James. “We’ve got tons of them.” In the months leading up to the haunting season, Cutting Edge’s zombies, ghouls, evil clowns and other undead creatures of the night spend hours each day, plugging away on treadmills to build up their stamina.

“We got a sweet deal on a bunch of defective treadmills from a local gym,” says James. “They won’t go over two miles an hour. That’s just perfect for the zombies.” He adds, “some of the clowns, though, they like to work out on suspension trainers. They’re much more acrobatic.”

After all, scaring people isn’t as easy as you might think. Chainsaws can weigh as much as 15 pounds, and swinging them around all night is not for the 99-pound weakling. “Some of the zombies have tried lifting weights,” says James, “but since they don’t having living tissue, they don’t really develop muscle.”

As for the clowns, ghouls and other fiends, leaping around the building all night can be quite exhausting. “We add a lot of B vitamins to their blood smoothies to help them keep going,” says James. “I don’t know if it really helps, but it gives them a psychological boost, anyway.”

One can’t help but feel the excitement in the air as each day passes and Halloween draws nearer, and nearer still. The tension is building to a fevered pitch as chainsaws are sharpened, bandages wrapped tighter and canine teeth are filed to a spiky point. “This is what they live for,” says James, “what they’ve been training for all year. They’re ready to put everything on the line and give you the scare of your life – or die trying.”

Wait, aren’t they already dead?

Don’t miss the chance to see these world class athletes in action at Cutting Edge Haunted House. The clock is ticking down. The Harvest Moon is fading, the nights are getting longer – and darker, and when the sun rises on November 3rd, it will all be just a memory – one you can only hope to forget! Buwahhaaa hah hah hah….