Top 10 Reasons Why Cutting Edge Haunted House is the Safest Place to Be this Friday the 13th
If you’re inclined at all to be superstitious, you’re probably feeling a little anxious about the upcoming occurrence of Friday the 13th this weekend. You’ve got paraskavidekatriaphobia, or fear of Friday the 13th; what should you do? Should you call in sick to work? That might get you fired, and that WOULD be unlucky. Should you carry a lucky rabbit’s foot, wear your lucky underwear, carry a salt shaker, eat a clove of garlic for breakfast? Sure, why not do all those things — except the garlic might be a little beyond the pale, but the rest won’t hurt. But come nightfall, rather than hiding under your bed and waiting for the bell to toll midnight, we’d like to tell you why Cutting Edge Haunted House is the safest place you could spend your evening on Friday the 13th. He’s our top ten reasons:
10. No black cats, ladders to walk under, mirrors to break or cracks to step on.
9. Our mummies all wear OSHA-approved fire-retardant wraps.
8. Monsta Hearse has monsta-sized airbags.
7. Our werewolves get annual rabies and distemper vaccinations.
6. All of our zombies undergo regular chainsaw safety training.
5. No faulty flight controls, exploding oxygen tanks or snoozing pilots involved.
4. Likelihood of a tsunami: zero.
3. No lead-based paint or Chinese drywall used on the premises.
2. No one will shoot you for making too much noise or throwing popcorn.
1. Studies show that 77% of accident-related injuries happen in the home, so GET OUT OF THERE! Save yourself, and come on down to Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, where we take every precaution before SCARING YOU TO DEATH!