Cutting Edge Zombies Opt Out of Winter Olympics

In an unprecedented move this week, Cutting Edge’s Zombie Bobsled Team made a difficult decision not to attend the 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia. Citing fears over a possible terrorist attack, team spokesman Imal Redidedd announced that the many threats and the increased security around the venue would make it just too difficult for the team to travel.

“It’s time-consuming enough getting through security on a normal day,” he said, reluctantly, “but with all the extra vigilance, we might as well just forget it.” Redidedd explained that the team’s dietary requirements entail carry-on coolers full of brains and plasma, which often cause raised eyebrows among TSA and other personnel, and their signature props are even more of a problem.

“They really freak out about the chainsaws,” he explained. “Even though the chains are removed, and we don’t put gas in them until we get to our destination, they just seem to have a problem with the whole thing.”

And without the chainsaws and the brains, “well, we just wouldn’t be Zombies, would we?”

“It’s very disappointing,” said the team’s brakeman, Icho Mahma, “but at least it means we’ll be here for the Valentine’s Day celebration.

Mahma was referring to Cutting Edge’s upcoming Valentine’s Day special opening, Friday and Saturday night, February 14 and 15. “It’s going to be a really awesome event this year, and we were a little disappointed to be missing it, so I guess that’s our silver lining,” said Mahma.

Catch up with Imal Redidedd and Icho Mahma at the Cutting Edge Haunted House this Valentine’s Day weekend, with tickets now available online for just $25 – or $35 for the Speedpass! You won’t find snow, scantily clad figure skaters or fearless bobsled teams, but there will be plenty of screaming and terror – without the terrorists! That’s right, after an explosive evening of frightfully good fun, you get to go home with all of your arms and legs – and most of your brain! Log on to now to get your tickets!