St Patrick’s Day 2019 will commence in less than a week… and that only means one thing:
The leprechauns will soon be on the loose!
We’re all familiar with the plump and bearded little elves and their pots of gold. Leprechauns may be mischievous all in good fun – but not all are as jolly and harmless as they seem. In fact, we here at Cutting Edge have endured our fair share of the wicked leprechaun in years past… and we’re here to tell you the story.
The Story of the Foul Leprechaun
Not long ago, Cutting Edge laid out a leprechaun trap when our resident ghouls got word of an evil St Patrick’s Day parade hitting Hell’s Half Acre. You may already be familiar with the history of Cutting Edge and Hell’s Half Acre. But in case you don’t, let us bring you up to speed with this blog post.
The ghouls went hard to work and assembled a leprechaun trap with Cutting Edge’s old meat packing equipment… and it worked! After the evil St Patrick’s Day parade wreaked havoc on all of Fort Worth, we caught an evil leprechaun with our haunted meat hooks.
Though short in stature, it looked far from the typical leprechaun you’ve seen in books and illustrations. This leprechaun had bright green skin, orange eyes, and razor-edged teeth. And unfortunately, it wasn’t long until the little devil pried open its cage with its claws.
(Our evil leprechaun looks pretty similar to the one in Dan Grady’s 1983 horror comedy, ‘Leprechaun’)
Before we knew it, Cutting Edge fell victim to a leprechaun infestation by the dozens. For years, the leprechauns have nipped and clawed at the ankles of our guests. They’re known to dart across the rooms, cackling and screeching into the echoes of the darkness. Some will poke you with a splintery, sharp stick made from tree branches. Others will simply jump out and scare you, snarling with evil satisfaction as they dangle upside down from the rafters. But most of them enjoy laughing like maniacs as they plot revenge into the wee hours of the night.
In 2014, the leprechauns glued all our toilet seats shut. This lead to the shutting down of Cutting Edge until we were able to reopen on Friday the 13th. This year, we made sure to have one of our evil clowns stand guard at each bathroom. That way, we could celebrate St Patrick’s Day 2019 in horror with you all.
But our attempts still didn’t deter the leprechauns from plotting against us. This year, they decided it would be fun to throw eggs throughout Cutting Edge, dousing the entire warehouse in a sticky, rotting stench. A leprechaun even destroyed St Patrick’s Day at Thrillvania Haunted House Park, too!
Beware This St Patrick’s Day 2019
We wish we could smell corned beef and cabbage instead of the putrid, sulfuric scent of eggs. Regrettably, Cutting Edge will not be open for St Patrick’s Day 2019. Until we’re able to clean up this mess made by the leprechauns, we won’t be open until further notice.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate St Patrick’s Day without us! We’ll be bringing you more St Patrick’s Day-inspired news and stories right here at the Cutting Edge Blog.