As if Valentine’s Day weren’t fraught with enough perils and booby-traps for the hapless, lovelorn and completely clueless, this year it follows yet another day of dread and danger, Friday the 13th! To save you from making any grievous blunders on this frightful clash of pernicious tidings, we’ve compiled a short list of things to avoid, aside from the obvious black cats, walking under ladders, stepping on cracks and appearing on reality television shows.
First of all, stay off the computer. Resist the temptation to send your beloved one of those cutesy animated greeting cards. If your computer is infected with the legendary “Friday the 13th” virus, every program you attempt to run on Friday the 13th will be deleted rather than activated. First detected in Jerusalem in 1987 and also known as the “Jerusalem virus,” this program can hibernate undetected for years until the unlucky user inadvertently trips it on a Friday the 13th.
Most definitely DO NOT propose or tie the knot. According to old English folklore dating back to the 1800s, “A couple married on a Friday are doomed to a cat and dog life.” If that isn’t enough to convince you, try surfing around the Internet on the subject. You’ll find a plethora of YouTube videos and tales of woe around marriage proposals gone awry and weddings absolutely decimated on Friday the 13th; and don’t think Valentine’s Day will save you!
Don’t buy lingerie for your sweetie. With the collision of Valentine’s Day and Friday the 13th, it’s more likely to buy you a truckload of woe than a scintilla of affection, when it turns out to be the wrong size (too big or too little — either one is just as bad) or worse, she finds it in your closet and you’ve already removed the tags…
In fact, maybe you should just avoid the whole love-fest thing altogether. Seriously, any romantic Valentine’s Day plans have a strong possibility of backfiring this ill-fated weekend. This would be a good time to leave town; take a trip, just make yourself incognito until the whole thing blows over.
However, if you have a desire to take charge of your own destiny, to look danger in the eye and toss your head back and laugh like a deranged maniac, if you just can’t figure out what to get for your beloved Valentine, we have just the thing! Go online now and get your tickets for a fright to remember, an evening of Twisted Love at Cutting Edge Haunted House, where the screams are delicious and the ambiance is just to die for!