We at the Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas wish you and yours a very scary Christmas. And just so you don’t get too bored with all the sickly sweet sentiments, annoying Christmas carols and general tidings of good cheer, we’ve come up with a few suggestions to help you keep Halloween in your heart during these trying times.
Slip a tarantula into Aunt Martha’s stocking. Won’t she be surprised when she reaches in for a gift and comes out with a giant hairy spider instead! After all, nothing says Christmas like a blood-curdling scream!
Slip a piece of rotten meat into the base of the Christmas tree. That’ll do away with that cloying pine scent and make the whole house smell like a crime scene.
Put a wreath made of dead branches on your door. They’re readily available from any craft store. Only don’t put anything on it, except maybe some spider webs and a plastic spider.
Bring your Haunted House CD to your neighbor’s Christmas party, and when they’re not looking, swap it out for their “Bing Crosby Christmas” album.
Wrap up a goalie mask for little Susie. Don’t forget to put “From Jason” on the label. She’ll have nightmares for weeks!
Put red food coloring in a glass of eggnog and leave it for Santa, in lieu of milk and cookies. Tell the kids it’s blood, because Santa got turned into a vampire.
Use black wrapping paper for all of your presents, and instead of a bow, embellish each one with a “bloody” handprint using red poster paint. Now THAT’S festive!
Wear fake vampire teeth and smile broadly for all your Christmas pictures, especially opening gifts Christmas morning. And be sure to keep your camera ready for when Aunt Martha reaches into her stocking. One viral YouTube video could pay for all of the hospital bills!
Above all, remember to keep Halloween in your heart, always, and have a very scary Christmas!