How Long do Zombies Live? Ask Igor!

AskIgorAt Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, we consider ourselves to be subject matter experts on all things supernatural. From ghosts and goblins to werewolves and wicked witches, we’ve had experience with all kinds of spooky beings and paranormal phenomenon. So we are proud to offer up our resident Master of the Macabre, Igor, to answer your questions on the subject.

Our question for this week was sent in by Silly Sally from Selman City, and she asks, “How long do zombies live?” Take it away, Igor!

Well Sally, that’s kind of a trick question, since zombies aren’t actually alive in the first place. They’re not quite dead, either. What they are is undead, and in that state they tend to stumble around for quite a while, frightening people and eating their brains. So what I’m guessing you really want to know is, how long can a zombie be undead before he becomes just plain old dead?

There are a lot of things that factor into this equation, Sally, including decomposition. While a zombie doesn’t decompose as quickly as someone who’s just plain dead, his flesh does eventually rot away, depending on things like temperature, humidity, and insect activity. Accordingly, a zombie in a tropical region might only last a few weeks, while one in Alaska could keep going for decades.

Then there’s the matter of sustenance. A zombie does not live on bread alone, after all. Actually, zombies don’t eat bread, they eat brains. Consuming the brains of living creatures is what gives a zombie his life force — or death force — or undeath force — whatever. If a zombie can’t find brains to devour, he loses his mojo, and will eventually turn into a door stop. No brains no brawn.

The last thing to consider is the amount of physical damage inflicted on the zombie. A zombie who’s had his head blown off may only stumble around for a few hours, while I’ve personally seen zombies hop around on one leg for weeks at a time. A zombie with missing limbs, however, is usually somewhat compromised in his ability to capture prey, and without a fresh supply of brains, once again, we’re talking doorstop city.

So, I guess the answer to your question then, Sally, is — it depends. And no, we’re not talking about incontinence here. That’s another subject entirely.

Are you off your rocker with supernatural infestations? Got bats in your belfry? Send your quizzical queries to Ask Igor! And be sure to provide a home address, so my friends and I can drop in for a bite!

And if you want to see a whole herd of zombies up close and personal, come on down to Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth — We’ll leave the lights out for you…

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