Could There Be a Real Life Zombie Apocalypse?

Since the release of the renowned thriller, “Night of the Living Dead,” the zombie apocalypse concept, in which a global zombie infestation decimates the entire civilized world, has been a theme of many books, articles and movies.

In a zombie apocalypse, a widespread outbreak of zombie-ism threatens to destroy all human life.  Victims of zombies often themselves become zombies, causing the outbreak to spread exponentially.  Governments, military and law enforcement organizations are helpless to defend against the overwhelming plague, and the entire human society collapses, leaving only isolated pockets of non-zombie survivors, forced to scavenge for food and supplies in a hostile wilderness.

 Good story, but could it really happen?

While the internet is rife with examples in which scientists and laymen expound about the various viruses, parasites and drug-induced genetic mutations that could turn an entire population into mindless, rabid zombies, we at Cutting Edge Haunted House have another theory on how it will all go down.

It will all start quite innocently, with the introduction of a new form of breakfast cereal, made from genetically modified corn.  Designed to make the corn more resistant to small weevils known as billbugs, this corn will inadvertently activate a little known genetic receptor in the billbugs’ tiny brains, causing them to become incredibly voracious.  Ravenously seeking to devour everything in sight and oblivious to their own peril, the bugs will be inadvertently ground up into the corn, to be consumed by unwitting humans in the form of the new breakfast cereal.

ZombieApocalypseIn the human gut, the genetically modified billbug remnants will cause such considerable digestive distress that zombie-like customers, glassy-eyed and moaning in agony, will be lined up in droves outside every corner drug store, desperately seeking a dwindling supply of anti-diarrheal medicine.

A radical yet high-tech terrorist group will then seize upon the opportunity to incapacitate the world’s population, by ambushing emergency vehicles rushing supplies of antidiarrheal medicines to hospitals and drug stores everywhere.  These diabolical fiends will then switch the anti-diarrheal medicine with a new designer psychedelic drug called simply, Z.

Hopped up on Z, hordes of drug crazed, projectile vomiting, digestively-challenged zombie-like humans will be observed wandering the earth with a really bad case of the munchies, causing news stations everywhere to herald the arrival of the long dreaded zombie apocalypse.

Hey, it could happen.

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