Top 10 Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts

valentines-day-cutting-edge-2014 copyWondering what to get your sweetie pie for Valentine’s Day? Did you wait till the last minute? Oh no! Before you run out to the nearest convenience store to browse the seasonal aisle, here are a few items you should definitely avoid.

10. Scratch and win lottery tickets. Sure, the fantasy of possibly winning a fortune can briefly heat up the moment, but as soon as she’s done scratching, it’s a nothing but a big fat zero. And that’s what you’ll be getting from HER tonight.

9. A diamond ring keychain. Think you can hint at taking it to the next level without actually going there? Think again. While you’re at it, avoid any jewelry that comes in a ring-sized box that isn’t actually a ring.

8. A self-help book. This is not the occasion to suggest there is anything wrong with her that she needs help with. She just might help you right out the door. If you disregard our advice, at least make sure it’s a paperback so it won’t do as much damage when she throws it at you.

7. Pornography. This is a bad gift for so many reasons. Men, suffice it to say, you don’t want her comparing you to the studs in the flick. And gals, if you’re thinking of buying something smutty for your man, he’s probably already got a more extensive collection than you ever dreamed of.

6. Cooking utensils. Are you hinting she’s a bad cook, or too cheap to take her out to a fine dinner? Better make sure it’s not a set of knives…

5. Viagra. This is just downright humiliating, no matter which one gives it to the other. Think about it.

4. Facebook gifts — send her a Valentines Day present on Facebook and watch how quickly she changes her status.

3. A gym membership. This is 100 times worse than answering in the affirmative to “does this make me look fat?”

2. Lingerie. Guys, you can’t win. If it’s too big, she’ll accuse you of thinking she’s fat. If it’s too small, she’ll cry hysterically. Even if, by some miracle you choose the right size, she’ll think it makes some sort of insinuation about her virtuosity, or lack of it. Better not go there, but if you do, spend the money for some silk. Cheap nylon panties cause yeast infections.

1. Spanx. Okay, are you just a complete moron?

So what should you do? Don’t panic. It’s not too late. Show your sweetie-pie some Twisted Love at Cutting Edge Haunted House, open Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 8 to 10 p.m. After all, what’s more romantic than a candelight romp through a meat-packing plant, being chased by a horde of blood-thirsty zombies? Buy your tickets online and get $5 off with the code “Rose.” Guaranteed to get your blood pumping!

A Rose, By Any Other Color…

Black Rose CE SmallThe symbolism of rose colors is steeped in tradition. Over thousands of years, people have used the various colors of roses to convey a variety of emotions, from affection to sympathy to undying love. Before you spring for a bouquet this Valentine’s Day, you might want to think about what message you’re trying to send.

Red is traditionally the color of love, beauty, courage and respect, romantic love and, congratulations, and a single red rose is used to say, “I love you.”

Dark red or deep burgundy symbolizes unconscious beauty.

Pink roses signal appreciation, thanks, grace, perfect happiness, admiration, gentleness, and can also be used to say, “please believe me.”

White roses symbolize purity, innocence, silence, secrecy, reverence, humility, youthfulness, worthiness, heavenliness, and are a favorite for weddings and bridal bouquets.

Yellow roses are used to indicate friendship, joy, gladness, delight, new beginnings, welcome back, jealousy and caring.

Yellow roses with a red tip symbolize friendship and falling in love.

Orange roses signify desire and enthusiasm.

Red and white roses given together demonstrate unity.

Red and yellow roses together demonstrate happy feelings.

Lavender roses are a symbol of enchantment, and love at first sight.

Coral roses indicate desire.

Black roses are a rose of another color. They are used to signify death, sadness, bereavement and farewell, and are often used in funeral arrangements. They may also be sent to the living, as an ominous warning, or reflection of a desire on the part of the sender that the receiver might soon perish unexpectedly. Black roses are also symbolic of dark magic, evil, witchcraft, and revenge, and play a role in numerous works of fiction and fantasy.

Apart from a few extremely rare and exotic varieties, black roses, by and large, are not actually black, by nature. They start out as a very dark shade of red, purple or maroon. Cut roses are placed in a vase of water mixed with black floral dye, and as they absorb the water, they darken in color. Alternatively, they may be dipped in a dye solution or sprayed with a floral spray paint, which is a faster, yet messier method of creating truly black roses.

Black roses are also a favorite of goth girls, so if your sweetheart is into the black nail polish and spiked dog collars, a bouquet of black roses might actually be a hit, as long as they’re live black roses, not wilted or dried out with a dead rodent thrown in the box for good measure…

Or, you could just bring her to Cutting Edge Haunted House on Valentine’s Day Weekend, open Saturday and Sunday from 8 to 10 p.m. Because nothing says “I love you” like a bloodcurdling scream…

Cutting Edge to Open for Valentine’s Day!

VD12016Fort Worth’s Cutting Edge Haunted House will open Saturday and Sunday, February 13 and 14th from 8 to 10 p.m. for some Valentine’s Day shenanigans.

Christmas is over but the bills have just started coming in, and you’re still reeling from the season of sweet confections; cookies, cakes and pies, not to mention all the chocolates and candy canes. Instead of giving your sweetheart still more sugar for Valentine’s Day, why not treat her to an hour of blood-curdling cardio at Cutting Edge Haunted House!

Nothing gets the heart racing like a lovesick zombie, wielding a box of chocolates in one hand and a chain saw in the other. She’ll cling to you like a wet T-shirt as you run the gauntlet together, dodging fresh horrors around every corner while your hearts pound in sweet synchronicity.

Make memories of a lifetime as you stumble through more than a mile of madness in the world’s longest walk-through haunted house, illuminated only by candle light for the perfect touch of Valentine’s Day ambiance. Just imagine the calories you’ll burn!

For a romantic candlelight evening she’ll never forget, get your tickets now for Valentine’s Day weekend at the Cutting Edge Haunted House! After all, there’s a fine line between romance and terror…

Top 10 Zombie New Year’s Resolutions

CENewYearsIt’s New Year’s Eve, and all around the world, zombies are busy making plans for what to do better in the New Year — how to be healthier, happier, scarier, all the important things that zombies have on their worm-eaten brains. Here at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, we polled our zombies to come up with the top 10 zombie resolutions for 2016, and here they are:

10. Eat more brains, and less cats.

9. Get more cardio “shuffling to the oldies” with Richard Simmons.

8. Use public transit more frequently, and leave the hearse at home.

7. Buy “Energy Star” rated chainsaws to protect the environment.

6. Quit smoking brains — eat ’em raw!

5. Spend more time reading and less time watching the Kardashians.

4. Learn a new language — maybe English.

3. Update wardrobe with fresh bloodstains.

2. Spend more quality time with fellow zombies.

1. Scare the living daylights out of as many people as possible in 2016!

Happy New Year, America, and we look forward to frightening you again in 2016! We’ll leave the lights out for you…

The Perils of a Full Moon at Christmas

CEWerewolfMoon Santa’s not the only creature roaming the Earth this Christmas Eve…

Early Christmas morning marked the first occurrence of a Christmas full moon in 38 years, and it will be the last until the year 2034. The full “cold moon,” the last full moon of the year peaked Friday morning just as Santa Claus was finishing his Yuletide rounds.

What are the ramifications of a full moon occurring at the same time as the jolly old elf is circling the globe, with a sleigh full of goodies, a big fat jelly belly and nine juicy morsels of venison? Clearly he’s a prime target for a wide variety of night stalkers, not the least of which is the ravenous bloodthirsty werewolf.

We all know Santa ranges all around the globe, even to some parts of the planet where angels fear to tread. Imagine the perils of delivering Christmas gifts to homes in Transylvania, under the ominous glow of a blood red moon, surrounded by dark, somber forests of twisted, leafless tree trunks silhouetted against the cold, snow-covered ground. Brrrr. That’s enough to make anyone’s egg nog freeze over.

Not to worry, we have it on good authority, courtesy of NORAD, that Santa Claus did indeed make it back to the North Pole safe and sound on Christmas day – or did he? Might he have had a close encounter along the way, with say, a werewolf? Even Santa Claus is not immune to the bite of a lycanthrope, and could be changing at this every moment into something not so jolly. Imagine a bloodthirsty werewolf with the magical powers of Santa Claus, and things could get a little, well interesting, to say the least.

So as you’re taking down your Christmas decorations, you might want to close the chimney flu, lock your doors and windows and be sure to hide the milk and cookies the next time a full moon rolls around, because Santa CLAWS might well be on the prowl!

This heartwarming seasonal tale brought to you by Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, wishing you and yours a Very Scary Holiday Season!

The Cutting Edge of Christmas

HoHoHOBetter watch out, better not cry…

Just run, run like Forest Gump, ’cause someone’s coming to Cutting Edge Haunted House and it’s not a jolly fat man!

Tis the season of fear and loathing, and all things creepy at the world’s longest walk-through haunted house in Fort Worth, Texas! It just wouldn’t be Christmas without creepy clowns, evil elves and maniacal chain-saw-wielding zombies, now would it?

If too much sickly sweet holiday cheer is giving you a toothache, then come on out to Cutting Edge and taste the dark side of the Yuletide! We’ve been bad. We’ve been very, very bad, and every one of our elves is on the naughty list. We’ve got Christmas spirits — lots and lots of evil Christmas spirits, and they’re just dying to jingle your bells.

It’s all happening this Saturday, December 12th, from 8 to 10 p.m. Buy your tickets online using the promotional code “Frosty” and pay just $19.95! That’s the best deal of the season — buy one for a friend! They’ll thank you at the top of their lungs as they run screaming through the dark Texas night. What’s more precious, after all, than the gift of fear?

Remember, Christmas comes but once a year, and so does Cutting Edge’s Nightscare Before Christmas, so get your tickets now while there’s still time! Ho, ho, ho — we’ll be waiting for you…

It’s a Very Scary Christmas

EvilSanta
Holiday blues got you down? Small wonder. Black Friday sales are over, and Thanksgiving is but a Pepto-Bismol coated bit of indigestion lingering in your mid-gut. What to do for fun? Put up Christmas lights? Much too dangerous, especially after you’ve been swilling eggnog spiked with Uncle Bubba’s special brand of greased lightning. Sing Christmas carols, decorate a tree, send out Christmas cards? Bah humbug. If all the sickly sweet yuletide sentiments are rotting away your soul, then we have just the thing to put the “holy crap!” back into your holiday: The Nightscare Before Christmas!

That’s right, Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas is opening once again for our annual Nightscare Before Christmas creepy crawly spooktacular extravaganza, on Saturday, December 12th from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m.

There’s nowhere to run to, Santa baby, and nowhere to hide, when the elves turn into zombies and break out the chainsaws. It’s madness and mayhem with a peppermint twist. So put down the cookies, fat man, and start running, because Rudolph’s sharpening his antlers and he’s got you in his sights.

That’s right, nothing screams Christmas like a good old fashioned slaying. So don’t delay — get your tickets online for this one-night-a-year special performance. Halloween may be over, but the 12th Night is coming….

It’s Friday the 13th – Do You Feel Lucky?

Friday13BlackSo, that special day of the week is coming around again, Friday the 13th. Are you feeling lucky? Sure, it’s probably just mere superstition, however, paraskevidekatriaphobia, or fear of Friday the 13th, affects people the world over, leading to responses ranging from mild dread to full blown panic attack whenever the two dates shall clash.

Should you be afraid? Just because the 13th guest at the Last Supper was Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus, and the Code of Hammurabi omits the 13th law for fear of it’s being evil, hey, who’s to say that’s bad?

Most hotels and many high rise buildings around the world have opted to skip the 13th floor. Traditionally, doomed prisoners climbed 13 steps to the gallows. And an old superstition says that those with 13 letters in their name are doomed to a life of misery. Think Charles Manson, Jack the Ripper, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo. Apollo 13 was the only moon mission which failed, with near disastrous consequences. Still feeling lucky?

On Friday, Aug. 13, 2010, a 13-year-old boy was struck by lightning at 1:13 p.m. — that’s 13:13 hundred hours, in Suffolk, England. According to Rex Clarke, a St. John Ambulance team leader, “Suddenly there was this huge crack of lightening really close to the seafront and really loud thunder. Seconds later we got a call someone had been hit. The boy was breathing and was conscious.” The boy had only a minor burn. Clarke said, “It’s all a bit strange that he was 13, and it happened at 13:13 on Friday 13.”

History is filled with tales of horrific happenings that have occurred on Friday the 13th, such as the date of two fatal plane crashes, Friday October 13, 1972. Not only did the infamous Swiss rugby team end up battling for survival in the Andes (think “Alive”), but a much larger flight crashed that same day near Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport, killing all 174 passengers and crew.

While you may be tempted to stay home and curl up in bed in order to avoid the ravages of this unlucky day, history has proven that there is no safe place when Friday the 13th rolls around. Witness an unfortunate gentleman by the name of Daz Baxter, who attempted to bury his head beneath the blankets of his bed on Friday, August 13th, 1976 to avoid any possible peril. He was killed that day when the floor of his apartment building collapsed.

So what is there to do? Why not venture out, seize the bull by the horns, look fate in the eye and laugh like a maniac! Come on down to Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth and show the world you’re not afraid of any silly old superstitions! Laugh in the face of peril! Embrace the dark side! Open this Friday the 13th. We’ll keep the lights out for you…

Happy Halloween from Cutting Edge

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Tis night for revel, set apart
To reillume the darkened heart,
And rout the hosts of Dole.
‘Tis night when Goblin, Elf, and Fay,
Come dancing in their best array
To prank and royster on the way,
And ease the troubled soul.

The ghosts of all things, past parade,
Emerging from the mist and shade
That hid them from our gaze,
And full of song and ringing mirth,
In one glad moment of rebirth,
Again they walk the ways of earth,
As in the ancient days …

—J.K. Bangs, Harper’s Weekly, Nov. 5, 1910.

Merry Samhein!

It’s not too late to get your tickets for Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas, open tonight and tomorrow night for your ghoulish pleasure!

10 Freaky Facts About Spiders

CESpiderWebWhile most people have at least a credible amount of fear or aversion to all forms of creepy crawlies, spiders in particular tend to get a bad rap. Household spiders perform a valuable service by keeping the insect population in check, and while a notorious few can have dangerous bites, the vast majority are perfectly harmless to humans. Spiders are, in large part, nocturnal, and mostly keep to themselves. In other words, if you don’t bother it, it won’t bother you.

Nevertheless, arachnophobia affects some 3-1/2 to 6 percent of the population, and the mere sighting of a spider has been known to make grown men squeal like a little girl. What’s the big deal? Well, could it be because all spiders are predators, and together they make up the largest group of carnivores in the world? Here are ten more freaky facts about spiders:

1. All spiders are venomous, except for one (the hackled orb weaver). They use their venom to paralyze their prey.

2. Spiders transfer venom to their prey by biting them with sharp fangs. In the case of the South American goliath birdeater, those fangs can be over 3/4 of an inch and reach up to 1-1/2 inches!

3. All spiders produce silk, which they use for different purposes. Some use it for shelter, to protect offspring and/or to assist them as they move. Some use it to capture prey, and most use it to keep their victims immobile while they wait for them to liquefy.

4. A spider’s digestive process actually takes place outside the spider’s body. Using its fangs, it injects digestive enzymes into its prey, which cause the tissues inside the exoskeleton to liquefy. It then sucks out the liquefied matter, leaving the insect’s empty shell intact. Some spiders use a slightly different method to break down their prey, but you get the idea.

5. Spiders use a combination of muscle and blood pressure to move their legs. They do this by contracting muscles in their cephalothorax (fused head and thorax), which increases blood pressure to the legs. Jumping spiders can use this sudden increase in blood pressure to spring as much as a foot, horizontally. Yikes!

6. The jumping spider family, or Salticidae, as the eggheads call it, comprises around 13% of all spider species, making it the largest family of spiders. Jumping spiders have exceptional eyesight, owing to their four pairs of eyes. Jumping spiders have no need for webs; they simply pounce on their prey.

7. Like jumping spiders, wolf spiders don’t bother with webs, preferring to hunt down their prey using superior strength and exceptional eyesight, especially at night. Wolf spiders can be found all over the world, are solitary hunters and sometimes mistaken for tarantulas, due to their large size and predilection to remain on the ground, using vegetation or leaf litter for cover. Female wolf spiders are known to be aggressive when they’re carrying around an egg sac, and after hatching, carry the hatchlings around on their backs for several days.

8. Male spiders are generally smaller than female spiders, and risk being eaten by them if the female is hungry enough. For this reason, male spiders of different species are known to perform elaborate courtship rituals to identify themselves as potential mates before approaching a female spider. Jumping spiders perform dances from a safe distance, and then await approval before getting too close. Male orb weavers and other web builders wait on the outer rim of a female’s web, where they gently pluck at the silk to transmit a signal to the female. If she likes the vibes, she’ll send back a signal that it’s safe to approach.

9. The black widow actually comes from a whole family of widow spiders (Theridiidae), so named for their penchant for eating their mates after copulating. The bite of a black widow spider secretes a neurotoxin called latrotoxin, which causes a condition known as latrodectism, both terms deriving from the name of the black widow species: Latrodexus. While rarely fatal in humans, the condition causes pain, vomiting, sweating and muscle rigidity; so you may only wish you were dead. Domestic cats, however, have been known to die from it. Brown recluse, or violin spiders, on the other hand, inject a venom that sometimes leads to necrotizing ulcers that destroy soft tissue, take months to heal and leave deep scars. Rarely, the bites can lead to systemic illness, organ failure and even death in small children or those with a weakened immune system.

10. Arguably the largest species of spider is the South American goliath birdeater, whose leg span can reach up to a foot (about the size of a dinner plate). Found in coastal rainforests of Surinam, French Guiana and Guyana, a few have been spotted occasionally in Brazil and Venezuela. With a reported lifespan of 10 years, the birdeater can weigh more than 6 ounces and has hardened tips and claws on its feet that produce a distinctive clicking sound when it walks. Now THAT’s creepy!

Although some would argue that the giant huntsman is larger since it has a slightly larger leg span, it’s body is much lighter and more delicate. It’s somewhat like comparing a giraffe to an elephant.

In addition to its long fangs, which can reach up to 1-1/2 inches, the birdeater is capable of sending out clouds of hairs from its body which wreak havoc in the eyes and mucous membranes of its enemies. While venomous and quite painful (like driving a nail through your hand), the bite of a birdeater is not deadly to humans.

Contrary to its name, the birdeater doesn’t usually eat birds, although it will attack most anything it encounters and is capable of killing small mammals. Fortunately for the birds, this gargantuan spider mostly hunts for frogs, insects and especially earthworms which come out on humid nights. If a birdeater does happen to stumble on a bird nest, however, it has no qualms about puncturing and drinking bird eggs, and could easily kill chicks and parents as well.

Do creepy crawlies give you the heebie-jeevies? You never know WHAT might leap out of the shadows at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas! Come on out and face all of your fears, be they spiders and snakes or creepy clowns with chainsaws! Open every night through November 1st!

Countdown to Halloween: 5 DAYS!

The Corn Maze: An American Tradition

CornMazeReeper
Halloween is almost upon us, and all around the nation families are visiting local farms to pick out pumpkins, go on hay rides and navigate through elaborate mazes carved in fields of corn. A relatively new fall tradition, corn mazes have become a popular way for small farmers to supplement their incomes and attract customers to their pumpkin fields.

In fact, the first corn maze was created in 1993, Lebanon Valley College in Annville, Pennsylvania, as a fundraising effort to aid Midwest farmers whose farms had been damaged by severe flooding.

Disney World producer and LVC Alumnus Don Frantz and LVC student Joanne Marx teamed up with Adrian Fisher of Minotaur Designs in England to design a maze, based on the UK’s popular country garden variety. Fisher had designed some 70 mazes including one in the shape of a dragon, but nothing of the size and complexity envisioned by Frantz.

The final creation was open to the public for just two weekends in the fall of 1993, and drew national attention. With an admission of just $5 per person, the college drew nearly 6,000 visitors and raised over $27,000 over the opening weekend alone. All the proceeds went to the Red Cross to aid the stricken farmers.

Since that first effort, corn mazes have become popular tourist attractions in North America, and are created in a variety of artistic shapes and designs. Some are based on a particular theme, or created to tell different stories. Most feature a path which traverses the entire pattern, finishing either in the middle or at the outside, with intermittent false paths leading away from the main trail.

Interestingly, corn mazes have also caught on back in the United Kingdom, where they are known as “maize mazes” since the Brits tend to refer to wheat as “corn.” Especially popular on small family farms in the east of England, these mazes are normally combined with hay rides, petting zoos and picnic areas.

Dixon, California is home to the world’s largest corn maze, as recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records in 2007. Measured at 45 acres in 2010, the attraction has since been unofficially surpassed by Adventure Acres in Bellbrook Ohio, whose 62 acre corn maze features 8.5 miles of trails. Wow — you could be in there a while!

Contrary to popular belief, corn mazes are not simply cut from an existing crop. Corn maze fields are carefully planned, with farmers selecting an appropriate hybrid species to deliver the desired height and stalk strength and spacing the plants for optimal denseness. Also, corn maze fields are generally planted two to three weeks later in the season than crops planted for harvest.

What’s better than a corn maze? A haunted corn maze! As if navigating your way through a complex series of hairpin turns and passageways isn’t scary enough, imagine doing so at night, with ghostly scarecrows, ghouls and monsters lurking around every corner!

Corn Mazes America estimated there were over 800 corn mazes around the country back in 2008. Since many corn mazes are private and not registered anywhere, it’s difficult pinpoint how many are created annually.

Although only a fraction of corn mazes are also haunted, that doesn’t mean they’re not capable of scaring the popcorn out of somebody. In 2011, police in Danvers, Massachusetts (a short distance from Salem) got a 911 call from a family of four who had been lost in a corn maze for several hours. Night had fallen, and the farmer who owned the maze had departed to run some errands and was unable to hear their cries for help.

He returned to his farm a short time later to find squad cars, police and tracking dogs searching for the errant tourists. The family was quickly located just 25 feet from the exit.

Farm owner Bob Connors hadn’t been worried when the family didn’t come right out. “People like to take their time and we don’t like to rush people out of the maze,” Connors said. “We like to give people their money’s worth.”

If you’re into mazes, monsters and scary good times, come on down to Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas, open every night through November 1st. There’s nothing CORNY about US! (Bring a change of underwear).

Countdown to Halloween: 7 days!

How Much Do You Know About Scarecrows?

IMG_3359The Halloween holiday brings with it a slew of iconic images, from Jack o’lanterns, witches and ghosts, to haunted houses, corn mazes, hay rides and scarecrows. Used primarily to discourage crows and other avian pests from devouring corn and wheat before they could be harvested, scarecrows quickly became associated with fall, and make superb Halloween decorations.

It’s easy to see what makes a scarecrow a natural for spooky décor; after all, it is a SCARE crow, and farmers often endeavored to make them as hideous looking as possible.

While scarecrows have been found in ancient Greece and Rome, and even Japan, (the Japanese used rotting meat and fish to make them smell wretched and called them kakashis, meaning something that smells badly) the country that really embraced the scarecrow was Britain. After the population was so reduced by the Great Plague in 1348, farmers could no longer find enough young boys to patrol their wheat fields with bags of stones, and so they resorted to stuffing sacks with straw and carving faces in turnips or gourds. These straw men were then placed on poles in their fields.

So fond are the Brits of their scarecrows, that every year a myriad of festivals crop up, from one end of the United Kingdom to the other. In Meerbrook, Staffordshire, the festival has a storybook theme, featuring animated hay-stuffed Humpty Dumpty’s, Miss Muffets and Little Bo Peeps, among others. Many of these festivals are actually trails, where participants go from display to display, finding clues and solving riddles.

In the U.S., frustrated farmers forsook scarecrows and took to putting a bounty out on crows, and fairly decimated the crow population by the late 1700s. With the crows out of the picture, corn borers and other worms and insects moved in, and were soon doing more damage to the corn and wheat than the crows ever had. So, farmers stopped killing crows and went pack to using scarecrows to keep crop loss to a minimum.

In a small village in modern-day Japan, scarecrows outnumber people. A woman by the name of Tsukimi Ayano started making scarecrows 13 years ago, creating the first one in the likeness of her departed father, as a tribute to him. She has since created more than 350 of them, 150 of which reside in various parts around the town, in homes and businesses of people who have died or moved away. The rest of the straw people have fallen victim to time and the elements.

In fact, the population of the village of Nagoro has dwindled over the years from 150 to just 35 living residents, well outnumbered by the straw people. In the village school, which was closed in 2012 after the last two pupils graduated, scarecrows sit at the desks, and fix their button eyes on a scarecrow teacher standing at the chalkboard. Ooh, that’s too creepy!

ZombieCollegeSpeaking of schools, Thursday is COLLEGE Night at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth! Show your college student ID and get $8.00 off online tickets or $4.00 off at the door. For online tickets, use the promo code “FBThurs8” — valid for October 22nd only!

Countdown to Halloween: 11 Days!

It’s Almost Halloween: What’s in YOUR Closet?

skeleton2Got a skeleton in your closet? Since the early 1800s, if not earlier, this was a phrase that was meant to imply that you were concealing something of such a serious nature that it might damage your reputation if revealed. In a more sinister connotation, it could refer to past criminal activity, perhaps even the existence of an actual decomposing corpse on the premises.

To this end, skeletons have been turning up unexpectedly in backyards and domiciles for thousands of years. Some have innocent origins and explanations, everything from homes built on ancient burial grounds or forgotten, unmarked graveyards to “Grandma died of a heart attack and we couldn’t afford a cemetery plot.”

On the darker side of the proposition, attics, crawl spaces, walls, chimneys, basements, gardens and backyards have long been favorite hiding places for serial killers or even your seemingly friendly neighbor to stash the bodies of their victims. Often these unfortunate corpses languish for decades or more before being discovered, usually long after the culprit has moved on (or passed on) and some unwitting new homeowner embarks on a remodeling project.

And then, sometimes skeletons are legitimately obtained for some purpose or other and then forgotten about, only to cause hysteria and consternation upon their inadvertent discovery by later generations. Such is the case with a charitable organization dating back to 17th Century England called the Independent Order of the Odd Fellows.

Pledged to “visit the sick, relieve the distressed, bury the dead and educate the orphan,” the fraternal order was composed of wealthy society members who wished to aid the lower classes, which was considered “odd” during that period in history, and hence the name.

But it seems their penchant for charity wasn’t the only thing that was odd about the Odd Fellows.

Similar to Freemasons and other secretive societies, the Odd Fellows practiced clandestine rituals involving human bones and skeletons, witnessed only by members of the inner sanctum who were sworn to silence.

The first American Odd Fellows lodge opened in Baltimore in 1819, and after a minor setback during the civil war, the organization flourished. Known as the “Golden Age of Fraternalism” in America, the period of 1860 through 1910/1920 saw the Odd Fellows building lodges in every state, beating out the Freemasons to become the largest of all fraternal organizations according to the 1896 World Almanac.

Although events of the 20th century (depression, wars) led to a serious decline in membership for the Odd Fellows and fraternal organizations in general, membership in the 21st century has begun to rebound. Nonetheless, as the organization evolves and changes, old ways — and old lodges — have fallen by the wayside.

And as those old lodges are closed and sold, skeletons are turning up willy nilly, in places like Warrenton, Virginia, where a contractor found a ritual skeleton in a black wooden box hidden between two walls of the Warrenton Odd Fellows Lodge.

In recent years, the discovery of Odd Fellows skeletons has sparked police investigations in Missouri, Indiana, Pennsylvania and Nebraska. In Oklahoma, the discovery of human remains prompted a work crew to flee in terror.

Owing to the clandestine nature of the society, no one is talking, and therefore no one knows where these skeletons came from or what they were used for.

Famous members of Odd Fellows include Winston Churchill, Charlie Chaplin, Wyatt Earp, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Ulysses S. Grant, Burl Ives and Red Skelton. The first national fraternity to accept both men and women, the society also welcomed into its ranks Eleanor Roosevelt and Dr. Georgia Dwelle, the first woman physician of African American descent.

Here at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas, we have more than a few skeletons in our closets, along with evil clowns, zombies and bloodthirsty psychopaths. It’s actually kinda crowded in there. Come on down and take a look — we DARE you! Open Thursday through Sunday nights!

Countdown to Halloween: 18 Days!!!

How Long do Zombies Live? Ask Igor!

AskIgorAt Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, we consider ourselves to be subject matter experts on all things supernatural. From ghosts and goblins to werewolves and wicked witches, we’ve had experience with all kinds of spooky beings and paranormal phenomenon. So we are proud to offer up our resident Master of the Macabre, Igor, to answer your questions on the subject.

Our question for this week was sent in by Silly Sally from Selman City, and she asks, “How long do zombies live?” Take it away, Igor!

Well Sally, that’s kind of a trick question, since zombies aren’t actually alive in the first place. They’re not quite dead, either. What they are is undead, and in that state they tend to stumble around for quite a while, frightening people and eating their brains. So what I’m guessing you really want to know is, how long can a zombie be undead before he becomes just plain old dead?

There are a lot of things that factor into this equation, Sally, including decomposition. While a zombie doesn’t decompose as quickly as someone who’s just plain dead, his flesh does eventually rot away, depending on things like temperature, humidity, and insect activity. Accordingly, a zombie in a tropical region might only last a few weeks, while one in Alaska could keep going for decades.

Then there’s the matter of sustenance. A zombie does not live on bread alone, after all. Actually, zombies don’t eat bread, they eat brains. Consuming the brains of living creatures is what gives a zombie his life force — or death force — or undeath force — whatever. If a zombie can’t find brains to devour, he loses his mojo, and will eventually turn into a door stop. No brains no brawn.

The last thing to consider is the amount of physical damage inflicted on the zombie. A zombie who’s had his head blown off may only stumble around for a few hours, while I’ve personally seen zombies hop around on one leg for weeks at a time. A zombie with missing limbs, however, is usually somewhat compromised in his ability to capture prey, and without a fresh supply of brains, once again, we’re talking doorstop city.

So, I guess the answer to your question then, Sally, is — it depends. And no, we’re not talking about incontinence here. That’s another subject entirely.

Are you off your rocker with supernatural infestations? Got bats in your belfry? Send your quizzical queries to Ask Igor! And be sure to provide a home address, so my friends and I can drop in for a bite!

And if you want to see a whole herd of zombies up close and personal, come on down to Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth — We’ll leave the lights out for you…

Countdown to Halloween: 31 days!

Giant Blood Moon Over Cutting Edge Haunted House

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The rare combination of a near-earth super moon and a lunar eclipse, also known as a blood moon was seen roiling the skies above Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth Sunday night, and is suspected to be a possible cause of some other odd sightings at the world’s longest walk through haunted house.

Although the haunt was closed for the night (open Sunday nights in October), satellite imagery revealed some strange goings on around the grounds of the old converted meat-packing plant. Zombies, vampires and rabid clowns were seen running amok, chasing each other with chain saws across the roof of the building, swinging from the parapets and baying at the moon. One blurry photo appears to reveal a zombie wearing what could only be a pair of ladies panties on his head.

While eminently disturbing, this kind of phenomenon is not unheard of during a lunar eclipse, when it is said that animals’ internal clocks get out of whack and creatures on the fringes of humanity seem to drift even further from their human roots. Accordingly, a great number of myths and superstitions have sprung up through the years around both solar and lunar eclipses.

During the Middle Ages, it was believed that children conceived during a lunar eclipse would be born with demons inside them. A somewhat more recent superstition holds that if a pregnant woman touches her belly during a lunar eclipse, the baby will be born with a birth mark on the area that was touched.

In India, some believe that if you sleep with wet hair during a lunar eclipse, you will awake stark raving mad, while others believe that you should bathe before and after the event, to wash away evil spirits — and also wash your eyes out with urine to keep them from hurting… To KEEP them from hurting?!

Some Eskimos turn their utensils upside down during an eclipse to keep the “sick” sun and moon from shining poisoned rays onto them, bringing on disease and famine. In Thailand, many citizens still bang on pots and light off fireworks during an eclipse to scare away the evil spirits that have devoured the sun or the moon.

It is said that Christopher Columbus used his foreknowledge of an upcoming lunar eclipse to trick hostile native chiefs into giving him food by threatening to darken the moon unless they did his bidding. After initially refusing, the chiefs caved when the moon went dark, seemingly on cue, at the intrepid explorer’s spoken command.

And so, if things got a little weird Sunday night, or if you work for NASA and you happened to capture some very bizarre satellite images, just chalk it up to the blood moon. Not to worry; there won’t be another one until 2033!

Cutting Edge Haunted House, however, is open every Friday and Saturday night in September, plus Sundays and selected weekdays in October. So if you REALLY want to see some super scary supernatural beings just being themselves — come on down!

Countdown to Halloween: 34 days!!!

Coming to a Night Sky Near You…

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A rare, super moon/lunar eclipse combo is set to occur late Sunday evening, September 27th. If you miss this one, you won’t see another until 2033!

Seasoned celestial observers and whuffos alike (“whuffo you looking up at the sky?) will be craning their necks late Sunday evening to get a peek at a rare giant blood moon. Starting around 8 p.m. in the United States, the earth, moon and sun will begin to align, and as the moon passes through the shadow of the earth, the darkened moon will appear to have turned a deep reddish color, hence the moniker, “blood moon.”

Don’t have a telescope? Don’t need one! This particular lunar eclipse coincides with a “super moon,” when the moon happens to be at the closest point in its orbit of the earth, causing it to appear around 30% brighter and 14% larger than the norm. Unlike a solar eclipse, no special viewing equipment is required to observe the lunar variety, although binoculars or a telescope can certainly enhance the experience.

The eclipse is expected to reach its peak during the 10 o’clock hour, for those who just want to step outside and take a brief gander. The whole thing should be over shortly after midnight.

It’s great opportunity to host a viewing party. It’s likely a bad time to be out and about, however. After all, if a plain old full moon can trigger all kinds of strange behavior, we shudder to think what frightening occurrences might be brought on by a super blood moon! Stay safe out there!

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Get psyched up for the blood moon by visiting Cutting Edge Haunted House this weekend, open Friday and Saturday nights! Do it for the kids —

Because Cutting Edge believes Halloween is about the Child in all of us, this weekend a portion of every ticket sold will benefit the Cook Children’s Hospital of Fort Worth!

Countdown to Halloween: 37 days!

Trick-or-Treating Etiquette

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Countdown to Halloween: 43 Days!

With the advent of global media, a certain amount of understandable paranoia has developed around the practice of trick-or-treating, and sadly, in this safety-minded, child-proofed world we live in, many parents choose to eliminate it altogether from their children’s life experiences. We think that’s just sad.

Those of us raised in an earlier era have such fond memories of racing around the block at sunset, trying to collect as much candy as possible before midnight. No silly little plastic pumpkins for us — we carried sturdy pillowcases, and made pit-stops at home to empty them before heading out to a new neighborhood.

We started planning our costumes at least a month in advance, and spent weeks fashioning papier-mâché masks and props. We lay awake the night before, too excited to sleep just thinking about the adventure ahead, and the treasure trove of sweets that would soon be ours for the taking (or the asking).

For those of you lucky enough to live in a community where trick-or-treating is still alive and well, we offer a few tips on proper trick-or-treating etiquette to keep things fun and safe for all concerned.

1. Masks are great, but make sure yours allows you plenty of visibility, both directly ahead and peripherally. Not only will this help you stay alert to your surroundings, but could save you the humiliation of a black eye when you keep bumping into your sister’s back with your big papier-mâché mouse nose and she finally loses it.

2. Only go to houses that are lit and clearly participating in the holiday. There was a time when we used to throw eggs at houses where people were hiding inside with the lights off because they were too cheap to give out candy, but these days there are just too many of those, and have you seen the cost of eggs lately? Ditto toilet paper. Just leave them alone if they don’t want to play.

3. Wear a real costume. It’s not “cool” to go trick-or-treating in jeans and a T-shirt. If people can make the effort (and spend the money!) to buy candy, you can make the effort to put on a costume. It’s Halloween, not free candy night.

4. If you see a bowl of candy with a sign that says, “take one,” step back and let someone else go first, and encourage them to take a handful. Better to spring the trap than be the patsy.

5. Carry your stash in a dark pillowcase, and hold out a Halloween-themed decoy bag with just a small amount of candy. People will be more generous if they think you haven’t collected all that much.

6. When you sort through your loot at the end of the night, discard anything that’s unwrapped, appears to have been tampered with or is homemade, unless it’s from someone you know and trust (even then it’s likely to be something yucky.)

7. Don’t forget Mom and Dad. They have a sweet tooth too, and if you award them a generous cut right off the bat, they might not confiscate the entire stash and ration it out to you through Christmas, all the while sneaking an occasional piece for themselves.

Need some scary costume ideas? Come on down to Cutting Edge Haunted House in Forth Worth for some inspiration! From evil clowns to bloodthirsty zombies, we’ve got a horrific cast of characters that will scare the nuts right off your chocolate bar!

Are You a Halloween Junkie?

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Halloween is fast approaching, but for some of us, it just can”t get here fast enough. Are you one of those people? Here are a few sure signs you could be a Halloween junkie.

o PETA is after you for dying all of your cats black.

o You have an actual skeleton in your closet.

o You frequently post selfies wearing vampire teeth.

o Your music collection consists of organ music and the Michael Jackson “Thriller” album.

o You think candy corn is one of the four food groups.

o Instead of a wok, you prefer to cook in a cauldron.

o You own more fright wigs than Dolly Parton.

o You take your kids trick-or-treating and you come home with more candy than they do.

o You’re positively giddy with excitement that Cutting Edge Haunted House is opening this weekend! Yeah!

Top Ten Ways to Spend the Labor Day Holiday

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Get in the holiday spirit — the Halloween holiday spirit this Labor Day!

It’s Labor Day, the last lazy holiday of the summer, a time for cookouts, picnics, last trips to the beach and for some unlucky husbands, time to clean out the garage along with various other “honey-do’s.”

Celebrated on the first Monday of September, Labor Day signals a time to change wardrobes, as the days grow shorter and markedly cooler. It’s also — just 54 days till Halloween! So skip the garage and the clothes shopping, and let’s get down to what’s really important. Here are ten important ways you could be spending your Labor Day holiday:

10. Get to work on your Halloween costume. Break out the band saw, arc welder, paint gun and Dremel tools and let’s get this baby started!

9. Put up your Halloween decorations. It’s never too early, really.

8. Unwrap your mummies and take their wraps to the fluff ‘n fold. Remember, a clean mummy is a happy mummy. And as they say, if mummy’s not happy, nobody’s happy…

7. Binge watch the last three seasons of “The Walking Dead” on NetFlix.

6. Start shopping for Halloween candy. You don’t want to be the one giving out last year’s favorites. Invite some friends over for a “tasting” party.

5. Put a fresh coat of whitewash on the backyard cemetery. We don’t want little ghosties tripping over tombstones in the dark, do we?

4. Oil the chainsaw, clean out the fog machine and take the hearse in for a good detail job.

3. Take the Hounds of Hell in for a rabies shot and a flea dip.

2. Freshen up the bloodstains on your front porch and maybe add some bloody handprints on the railing.

1. Go online and get your tickets to the season opening of Cutting Edge Haunted House this Friday and Saturday night! Use the promo code FBSave50 and get 50% off tickets for this weekend!

Haunted Colleges: Saint Mary-of-the-Woods

SaintMarysOfTheWoodsWhen it comes to apparitions that truly terrify, few come close to that of the Catholic nun. Enveloped in crisp black cloth which rustles eerily when crossing a room, she naturally presents a dark and ominous specter that becomes human only when one catches a glimpse of her face (sometimes). Now imagine seeing one with only a vast darkness where her face should be – now THAT’S creepy!

That’s what is rumored to prowl the campus of Saint Mary-of-the-Woods, a Roman Catholic liberal arts college just northwest of Terror Haute — excuse me, Terre Haute, Indiana!

The oldest Catholic College in Indiana, Saint Mary-of-the-Woods was founded as an academy for young women by Saint Mother Theodore Guerin in 1840, and granted the first charter for higher education of women in the state of Indiana in 1846. Saint Mother Theodore Guerin became Indiana’s first saint after being canonized by Pope Benedict XVI in 2006.

So how did the campus become haunted? Well, any institution as old as this one, forged from the wilderness of Indiana by six brave nuns nearly 200 years ago is bound to have its share of legends, and SMWC is no slouch in that department. From the Dark Angel of Guerin Hall and Ghosts of Le Fer to the Black Bird, stories abound about paranormal sightings and encounters. Students have even claimed to have felt ghost touching them while they were sleeping.

The faceless nun, however, is the most well-known and easily recognized of the restless spirits that prowl the campus. As the story goes, one of the sisters at the school had a talent for painting portraits, and spent many an afternoon in Foley Hall capturing every nuance of her current subject at hand, always saving the face for last. Insisting that the face was the most important part of the portrait, she gave it her full attention only after completing all the rest of each painting.

Lacking a subject for a time, the nun decided to do a self-portrait, and spent countless hours working out every detail of her painting until it came time, finally, to recreate her own face. Unfortunately, she fell ill that very day and was rushed to the infirmary. Although the doctors could find nothing wrong with her, she mysteriously died, leaving the portrait unfinished.

Shortly after the nun’s passing, paranormal sightings began to occur, with students and staff reporting a shadowy nun roaming Foley Hall and its courtyard. One of the sisters was said to have heard sobbing coming from the hall where the unfinished portrait stood, still on its easel. Upon entering the room, the sister saw the back of another nun who stood weeping in front of the painting. She moved to comfort her, but as the mysterious nun turned, the sister saw that there was only darkness where the woman’s face ought to have been.

Foley Hall caught fire and was torn down in 1989, but paranormal activity has persisted throughout the campus. In the conservatory next door, pianos are have said to play themselves from time to time.

The lesson to be learned here is, if you’re going to do a self-portrait, for Heaven’s sake, paint the face first!

Countdown to Opening of Cutting Edge Haunted House: 7 DAYS! That’s next weekend! Get your tickets online now at 30% off using the promo code “FbSave30” — September dates only!

The Haunting of Pemberton Hall

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After nearly 100 years, two tortured spirits still roam the dormitory of Pemberton Hall at Eastern Illinois University.

In the early 1900s, few women went to university let alone actually resided on campus, so the groundbreaking of Pemberton Hall at Eastern Illinois University in 1909 was truly a groundbreaking event. Named for Illinois State Senator Stanton C. Pemberton, the building was the first residence hall to provide on-campus housing for female college students in the state and is registered as a historic landmark.

Designed to house approximately 100 students, Pemberton Hall featured a spacious first-floor parlor that was a popular spot for parties and meetings on campus. The building also featured a fourth-floor music room, which was the scene of a horrific crime which would lead to nearly 100 years of paranormal occurrences.

On a bitterly cold winter’s night one January around the year 1917, student counselor Mary Hawkins was awakened by a faint scratching at her door. Not much older than her charges, Mary was a popular young woman with long blonde hair and a sunny disposition. But what she would find at her door that night would change her life forever.

Just a few hours earlier, one of the residents of the dormitory, restless and unable to sleep, had made her way to the fourth floor in order to soothe her jangled nerves by playing softly on the piano. With her back to the door, she was unaware of the arrival of her attacker, thought to be a campus janitor who had somehow gained access to the building.

Brutally beaten, raped and left for dead, the young woman somehow managed to drag her mangled body back down to the residence floor, where she spent the agonizing last moments of her life desperately scratching at doors, trying to awaken the sleeping students, to no avail. Her trail of bloody handprints ended at Mary’s door, where she finally succumbed to her injuries.

A light sleeper, Mary Hawkins was awakened by the sounds and rushed to her door but was too late to do anything but break down in tears at the sight of the murdered student. She was so distraught over the loss of her charge that she sank into a deep depression, was finally institutionalized and eventually committed suicide.

Soon after the killing, students began to report hearing the sounds of scraping in the hallway at night, faint scratching at their doors, and soft piano music coming from the fourth floor. Although the music room was locked and the fourth floor was converted to a storage attic, the old piano remained, and was thought to be the source of the ghostly tunes. After Mary’s suicide, students reported hearing her pacing the hallways, as she had done in the months after the murder, racked with guilt and despair over the young student’s demise.

In the early 1960’s, Pemberton Hall was expanded with the addition of a new section, and now houses as many as 200 students in single, double and triple rooms. A plaque in the foyer is dedicated Mary Hawkins, and each new generation of students quickly learns of her legacy, and of the many ghostly sightings of Mary pacing the halls, bloody hand prints on the walls and vanishing pools of blood in the hallway where the unfortunate girl was found.

Her murderer was never captured.

COUNTDOWN TO OPENING: 11 DAYS!

Infamously Haunted Schools and Colleges

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Ohio University, one of the scariest places on Earth.

Every year as the nation suffers through the sweltering dog days of summer, high school graduates everywhere are packing their bags with a great deal of excitement and just a modicum of dread, in anticipation of heading off to college. Starting college heralds a whole new chapter in a young person’s life, exposing them to a cornucopia of new experiences, hopefully most good, some bad, and possibly even some paranormal!

In celebration of this time-honored fall ritual, Cutting Edge Haunted House presents a multi-part series of blogs on haunted colleges and universities around the country, starting with Ohio University.

Located on 1,850 acres in Athens, Ohio, this major U.S. public research university was chartered on February 18, 1804 and first opened for students in 1809. As of 2014, Ohio University boasted 39,201 enrollees, equivalent to 30,878 full time students.

According to the British Society for Psychical Research, the town of Athens, Ohio is rated as the 13th most haunted place on Earth, and its famous university is no slouch in the paranormal department either. In fact, there have been so many instances of spooky encounters that the college was featured in an episode of Fox’s “Scariest Places on Earth, hosted by Linda Blair in October of 2000.

One theory for all of the paranormal activity is that five ancient cemeteries form a pentagram around the town of Athens, Ohio.

And while there are a mind-boggling number of places on campus where students and faculty have claimed to see and hear spirits moving about, by far the most famous (or infamous) one is Wilson Hall, said to be located in the exact center of the pentagram.

Room 428 in Wilson Hall has been sealed off, and is no longer assigned out to students. Why? In 1981 a female student reportedly committed suicide in that room, dying in a violent and somewhat perplexing manner. Students who were subsequently assigned to that room claimed to hear footsteps and strange noises. Some purported to witness objects moving on their own, flying off of shelves and smashing into walls.

Campus legend has it that the student who died had spent a good deal of time practicing the occult in her dorm room, attempting to contact the dead and teaching herself astral projection. The circumstances surrounding her death were vague and mysterious, and the subject of much rumor and innuendo.

Deeming the room uninhabitable, University officials finally removed it from service and sealed it off from all access.

That’s just one of many spooky stories surrounding Ohio University; just one of many haunted schools and colleges where not every student has made it out alive…

Cutting Edge Haunted House opens September 11th — tickets are on sale now! And for the next 48 hours — that’s through noon on Sunday, use the promo code FbSave40 and get 40% off tickets online!

The End of a Long Haunted Summer

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As Summer draws to a close in Fort Worth, Texas…

Cue the music — It’s the most wonderful time of the year! That’s right, summer is winding down and the kids will soon be headed back to school!

Now’s the time to start getting ready for the haunting season with some end-of-summer Halloween themed activities to whet your appetite. Here are just a few suggestions:

Start planning your costume. It’s never too early to start collecting beer cans to build that giant robot suit!

Throw a backyard zombie barbecue, complete with brain-burgers, slabs of ribs and deviled eyeballs. Instead of flag football, consider a good old fashioned game of zombie tag. Carve jack o’lanterns out of watermelons and bob for peaches and nectarines. Then after the sun goes down, have everyone light the tiki torches and run through the neighborhood screaming, “He’s headed for the castle!”

Put red dye in your decorative fountain and surround it with lighted skulls. Then order a pizza late at night and answer the door in a goalie mask (and maybe a bullet-proof vest just in case the pizza guy is packing more than just a hot pie…)

Beat the heat by lounging in a kiddie pool filled with cubes of black cherry Jell-O. Squirt some ketchup on your neck for good measure and pose for a selfie.

Stuff your mouth full of fresh blackberries and go out to greet the postal carrier with a big smile. Be sure to wear a personal body camera to capture his expression when you let a spittle of blackberry juice dribble down your chin.

Go to the beach and have someone bury you up to your armpits in the sand, then cover you up with a large beach towel. Place a cooler of cold beverages nearby with a sign saying “free sodas.” Then reach out and grab the ankles of anyone who gets near.

Fill a jar with 80 pieces of candy corn and eat a piece every day. When the jar is empty, it will be Halloween!

Don’t worry, your friends at Cutting Edge Haunted House are already hard at work, gearing up for a haunting season that will make your hair pop out, your eyes crawl and your skin stand up on end…

Record-Setting Summer at Cutting Edge Haunted House

ZombiesAhead1Zombie APOC Army Sets Amazing New World Records

Here at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas, we’re no stranger to the concept of setting world records.

It’s widely known that everything is bigger in Texas, and as the holder of the Guinness Book of World Records title of longest walk-through haunted house, we’re rightfully fond of saying, “go big or go home.”

And so it’s no surprise that during the 2015 Zombie Summer, aka Zombie APOC Army, we have once again set some new, if unofficial and somewhat unorthodox firsts here at the old meatpacking plant on Lancaster Avenue. Here are just a few:

o  Most zombies under one roof at one time, ever.

o  Most zombies killed while eating an ice cream sandwich.

o  Most zombies blown away by girls wearing pink sneakers.

o  Most recorded instances of a man screaming like a little girl in one hour.

o  Most attempts to frag one’s own team members during a laser weapon competition.

o  Most times somebody yelled, “Die, Zombie, die!” in a 30-minute time span.

o  Most firefights within one square mile outside the set of a “Rambo” movie.

o  Most hits taken by one single zombie in one weekend (“One-Eyed Bob”)

And don’t forget the most important one, most fun had on a Saturday night with your clothes on!  Be sure to visit our Facebook page to see the scores of the winning teams!  And if you missed out on all the fun, hang in there — Halloween is on its way…

 

Top Ten Ways to Kill a Zombie

ZombieWithChainSawIt’s coming!  The Zombie Apocalypse is coming!. It’s just a matter of time, so for the uninitiated, we’ve come up with the top ten ways to kill a Zombie. Print it out and stick it on your fridge, so you’ll be ready!

10. Run them over with your car. It’s best to back into them, so you don’t risk damaging your engine and get stalled out like the ninnies in the movies. If you’re not good at backing, don’t worry, Zombies are slow moving targets, so you can just keep trying until you manage to squash him flat.

9. Slice one in half with a razor-sharp Japanese Samurai sword. This will look really cool and impress your girlfriend.

8. Cut off his head with a chain saw. Just remember to wear your personal protective equipment. Safety first!

7. Toss him in a wood chipper. Then you can use him to fertilize your lawn.

6. Pretend her head is a baseball and hit one out of the park with a very sturdy bat.

5. Douse him with gasoline and have a bonfire. Don’t forget the marshmallows!

4. Build a Zombie catapult and see if you can, actually, hit the side of a barn.

3. Cast her in a television soap opera and then kill off her character.

2. Tie him to a chair and force him to watch a marathon of “Keeping up wth the Kardashians.”

1. If you’re at Cutting Edge Haunted House this weekend, just shoot ’em in the head with your super high-tech laser rifle!

If you missed out on tickets to this weekend’s Zombie Apocalypse Live, we have it on good authority that the Zombies may be back for another session later this summer. Keep an eye on our Facebook page for more information!

Will Zombies Pay Taxes?

Benjamin Franklin famously said, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” In thinking about this — today being the last day to timely file income taxes, and with the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse Live at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, we got to thinking, what about the UNdead. Do THEY have to pay taxes?

According to Law Professor Adam Chodorow, the United States Tax Code — and indeed the entire system of law in the U.S. is completely unprepared to deal with a full blown Zombie Apocalypse. The fatal flaw in the system hinges around the basic assumption that once one is dead, one ceases to exist for all eternity. We here at Cutting Edge know that that simply is not true.

In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse, as Professor Chodorow stresses, a large portion of the nation’s living taxpayers would be either killed or converted to Zombies. Accordingly, the government, already struggling mightily to remain fiscally viable, would immediately dissolve into chaos.

Clearly, then, there needs to be a system of taxation that includes Zombies, witches, vampires, ghosts and all other forms of undead beings, in order to help keep the country running smoothly in the event that we all turn into Zombies or vampires or whatever.

The problem here lies in the definition of undead verses deceased. Does a person die before they turn into a Zombie, in which case, should they be subject to a death tax? If they are undead, do they retain ownership of their estate?

Professor Chodorow does a deep dive into the fine details of the various tax laws and how they could or should be applied to Zombies and other undead beings, but to our thinking there’s an even bigger, more important question at hand. Do Zombies earn money? Sure, the independently wealthy might resort to deliberately becoming Zombies in order to exploit this gaping loophole in the tax code, but what about the rest of the population? Can Zombies hold jobs?

It doesn’t seem likely there would be a robust job market for Zombies. What kind of work could a Zombie do, after all? Forget anything that involves any sort of intelligence or reasoning skills. Maybe they could be a bouncer at nightclub, or a doorman or a bellhop. I’ve seen the occasional cab driver I thought was a Zombie. But even if there were jobs for Zombies, would they be willing to do them? Nevermind getting them to report to work in the first place, the first whiff of human scent and they’d walk off the job and go looking for brains to eat.

Even if we could tax Zombies, and they could hold down a job and figure out how to fill out an income tax form, it wouldn’t be of much help once the whole infrastructure became infested with Zombies. For instance, a Congress and Senate full of Zombies wouldn’t be able to develop and pass a federal budget… Hey, WAIT A MINUTE…

Adam Chodorow is a Law Professor at the Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at Arizona State in Tempe, Arizona. Download his complete thesis at: http://www.law.asu.edu/portals/31/chodorow_death_taxes_zombies.pdf

And if you missed out on tickets to the Zombie Apocalypse Live at Cutting Edge Haunted House, you still have a chance to shoot Zombies at Thrillvania Haunted House Park on May 1st, 2nd and 3rd!

Zombie Apocalypse LIVE! at Cutting Edge Haunted House

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Help! The zombies are running amok at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas, and it’s up to YOU to stop them!

Get your tickets now for Zombie Apocalypse LIVE! April 24th, 25th and 26th and join the adventure!

You and your team will go on a mission to clear zombie-infested areas of a post-apocalyptic nightmare world. You’ll need to listen closely to your orders and rely on your wits and reflexes to sort the zombies from other survivalists. Pull the trigger of your state-of-the-art military-style training weapon and experience a live bang, recoil and muzzle flash. Aim for their heads! It’s the only way to kill them!

Zombies will be wearing cutting-edge head-shot targets that will flash to indicate a hit. But beware! Some zombies need to be hit more than once for a kill.

It’s Dawn of the Dead meets Rambo in this exclusive action-packed thriller and YOU are the star. Except there’s no retakes, no stunt doubles and no breaks in the action. It’s up to YOU to survive and bring your team out alive. Get your tickets now before they’re sold out! Then gather your posse and start putting together your best Walking Dead style post-apocalyptic survivalist clothing and gear! See you there!

Evil Women in History – the Blood Countess

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March is Women’s History month, and so we at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth bring you the story of a famous woman in history renowned not only for her evil deeds, but who has also been featured in numerous works of fiction including Countess Dracula, Daughters of Darkness, Stay Alive and Fright Night 2: New Blood. That woman was Countess Elizabeth Bathory de Ecsed.

Born in Hungary in the summer of 1560, Elizabeth was engaged at ten and married at the age of 15 to the son of a baron, and set up housekeeping in a family-owned castle which was their wedding present. Before the marriage, however, at the age of 13, Elizabeth became pregnant by one of the castle servants, whom her husband-to-be promptly had castrated and thrown to the dogs. Elizabeth was secreted away until she gave birth to a daughter, whose fate remains a mystery.

Around the age of 25 — just two years after the birth of her first child with her husband, Elizabeth, left largely to her own devices while her spouse was off at war, began a killing spree that would earn her the label of most prolific female murderer by Guinness World Records.

Charged with the management and protection of her husband’s estates, Elizabeth had tremendous power over a significant number of Hungarian and Slovak people, and quickly discovered a penchant for torturing and mutilating servant girls, sometimes even biting off the flesh of their faces. When she was finally brought to trial in 1611, some seven years after the death of her husband, Elizabeth and four collaborators were accused of torturing and killing as many as 650 young girls. The stories of her brutality and serial murders were testified to by more than 300 witnesses and survivors, and confirmed by physical evidence and the presence of horribly mutilated dead, dying and imprisoned girls found at the time of her arrest.

Elizabeth was imprisoned in a set of rooms in her castle until she died in 1614, however her legend lives on. Years after her death stories surfaced around her vampire-like tendencies, including one bizarre tale of how she bathed in the blood of virgins in order to retain her youth. Her infamy became part of Hungary’s national folklore, and she is often compared with Vlad III, the Impaler of Wallachia, one of the roots of the Count Dracula character. Appropriately, her nicknames are Countess Dracula and The Blood Countess.

Now who says a woman can’t do anything a man can do?

It’s Friday the 13th – So What’s in a Number?

MaskWhy are we so afraid of Friday the 13th?  What makes it so different from Thursday the 12th, or Wednesday, the 11th?  Perhaps it simply stems from our fear of the unknown.  Up until the age of 12, our world is fairly finite.  We’re children.  We have a home and family. We think we know it all.  And then — that 13th year of life, things begin to happen.  We start growing hair in places we didn’t know it could grow.  Voices change.  Body parts metamorphose.  Hormones start to ricochet and we become that most terrifying creature of all, a teenager.

We’re simply conditioned to be afraid of the number 13.  Everything comes in 10s and 12s.  A dozen of something is good; 13, not so good.  Sometimes bad things happen and we just can’t explain why.  And that makes us afraid.  Maybe it will happen to me.  Maybe it will happen on Friday the 13th.

Instead of fearing the day, embrace it.  Go to the pound and adopt a black cat.  Black cats are euthanized all the time because few people want to adopt them.  Black dogs, although not considered particularly unlucky, share a similar fate, so how about making Friday the 13th the luckiest day of their life for some deserving fuzzy companion?

Throw a Friday the 13th party and serve Bloody Mary’s, show Friday the 13th movies and hold a séance to contact deceased relatives.  Dig out your old Ouija board and interrogate the spirit world.  Order a pizza and answer the door wearing a goalie mask when the delivery guy shows up.

Or if you just don’t feel that creative or motivated, don’t worry; we gotcha covered.  Come on down to Cutting Edge Haunted house for a Friday the 13th evening that nightmares are made of.  What better way to celebrate than laughing and screaming till you cry and wet your pants?  Why just watch scary movies when you can be right in the middle of one?  And don’t forget to bring a change of underwear…

Are You Afraid of Friday the 13th?

Top 10 Reasons Why Cutting Edge Haunted House is the Safest Place to Be this Friday the 13th

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If you’re inclined at all to be superstitious, you’re probably feeling a little anxious about the upcoming occurrence of Friday the 13th this weekend.  You’ve got paraskavidekatriaphobia, or fear of Friday the 13th; what should you do?  Should you call in sick to work?  That might get you fired, and that WOULD be unlucky.  Should you carry a lucky rabbit’s foot, wear your lucky underwear, carry a salt shaker, eat a clove of garlic for breakfast?  Sure, why not do all those things — except the garlic might be a little beyond the pale, but the rest won’t hurt.  But come nightfall, rather than hiding under your bed and waiting for the bell to toll midnight, we’d like to tell you why Cutting Edge Haunted House is the safest place you could spend your evening on Friday the 13th.  He’s our top ten reasons:

10.  No black cats, ladders to walk under, mirrors to break or cracks to step on.

9.  Our mummies all wear OSHA-approved fire-retardant wraps.

8.  Monsta Hearse has monsta-sized airbags.

7.  Our werewolves get annual rabies and distemper vaccinations.

6.  All of our zombies undergo regular chainsaw safety training.

5.  No faulty flight controls, exploding oxygen tanks or snoozing pilots involved.

4.  Likelihood of a tsunami: zero.

3.   No lead-based paint or Chinese drywall used on the premises.

2.  No one will shoot you for making too much noise or throwing popcorn.

1.  Studies show that 77% of accident-related injuries happen in the home, so GET OUT OF THERE! Save yourself, and come on down to Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, where we take every precaution before SCARING YOU TO DEATH!

 

 

Friday the 13th and Valentine’s Day; a Clash of Horrors

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As if Valentine’s Day weren’t fraught with enough perils and booby-traps for the hapless, lovelorn and completely clueless, this year it follows yet another day of dread and danger, Friday the 13th! To save you from making any grievous blunders on this frightful clash of pernicious tidings, we’ve compiled a short list of things to avoid, aside from the obvious black cats, walking under ladders, stepping on cracks and appearing on reality television shows.

First of all, stay off the computer. Resist the temptation to send your beloved one of those cutesy animated greeting cards. If your computer is infected with the legendary “Friday the 13th” virus, every program you attempt to run on Friday the 13th will be deleted rather than activated. First detected in Jerusalem in 1987 and also known as the “Jerusalem virus,” this program can hibernate undetected for years until the unlucky user inadvertently trips it on a Friday the 13th.

Most definitely DO NOT propose or tie the knot. According to old English folklore dating back to the 1800s, “A couple married on a Friday are doomed to a cat and dog life.” If that isn’t enough to convince you, try surfing around the Internet on the subject. You’ll find a plethora of YouTube videos and tales of woe around marriage proposals gone awry and weddings absolutely decimated on Friday the 13th; and don’t think Valentine’s Day will save you!

Don’t buy lingerie for your sweetie. With the collision of Valentine’s Day and Friday the 13th, it’s more likely to buy you a truckload of woe than a scintilla of affection, when it turns out to be the wrong size (too big or too little — either one is just as bad) or worse, she finds it in your closet and you’ve already removed the tags…

In fact, maybe you should just avoid the whole love-fest thing altogether. Seriously, any romantic Valentine’s Day plans have a strong possibility of backfiring this ill-fated weekend. This would be a good time to leave town; take a trip, just make yourself incognito until the whole thing blows over.

However, if you have a desire to take charge of your own destiny, to look danger in the eye and toss your head back and laugh like a deranged maniac, if you just can’t figure out what to get for your beloved Valentine, we have just the thing! Go online now and get your tickets for a fright to remember, an evening of Twisted Love at Cutting Edge Haunted House, where the screams are delicious and the ambiance is just to die for!

10 Fascinating Facts about the Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre

On February 14, 1929, members of Al “Scarface” Capone’s South Side Italian gang ambushed seven members of Irish gangster George “Bugs” Moran’s North Side gang in a Chicago garage and executed them, literally decimating their bodies with a hail of rounds from several Thompson sub-machine guns.  It was a Valentine’s Day never to be forgotten and was quickly dubbed the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.  Here are some interesting factoids you may not know about that event.

1.   Two of the killers were disguised as policemen while the rest wore business attire. After the shootings, the phony coppers emerged from the garage pretending to escort the others at gunpoint, making their getaway and creating persistent rumors that it was the police who had executed the mobsters.

2.  Although Bugs Moran was the intended target of the attack, he actually escaped unharmed. He and one of his lieutenants arrived at the garage late for the scheduled meeting, and spotted the phony policemen getting out of a car.  Not wanting to tangle with law enforcement, they ducked into a nearby coffee shop and missed the whole thing.  Capone’s lookouts probably mistook one of Moran’s lieutenants for the mob boss himself, as he was wearing the same color overcoat and hat.

3.  Al Capone claimed to have been at his home in Florida at the time of the massacre. Who knew Scarface was a snowbird!

4.  The only two survivors were gang member Frank Gusenberg, who died at the hospital three hours later after telling police “nobody shot me,” and a German shepherd named Highball, who was miraculously unscathed, and he wouldn’t talk either.

5.  Despite an exhaustive investigation, no one was ever convicted of the murders.

6.   Seven men were killed by 70 rounds of ammunition on that February the 14th. Lucky number seven, anyone?

7.  Although Al Capone and his men were never arrested for the massacre, they didn’t get away scot free. Alarmed by an increase in mob-related violent crime that cumulated in 64 related murders that same year, John Q Public put increasing pressure on law enforcement to put an end to the violence.  Labeled “Public Enemy No. 1,” Capone soon became the target of multiple federal investigations, which ultimately landed him in the slammer.

8.  Capone served a considerable portion of his 11-year sentence in Alcatraz, and after his release in 1939 he remained an invalid recluse at his Florida home until passing away eight years later.

9.  The most notorious crime boss of his time, who ruthlessly eliminated his rivals in the illegal trades of bootlegging, gambling and prostitution, was brought down not by the FBI but by the IRS, for failing to pay his income taxes.

10.  All but 100 of the bricks from the garage wall against which the gangsters were lined up and executed are now on display at the Mob Museum in Las Vegas, a step up from their previous engagement in a Nightclub men’s room in Vancouver. The other 100 bricks were sold to gangster buffs over the Internet.

Remember — nothing screams Valentine’s Day like murder and mayhem.  Come join us at Cutting Edge this Friday the 13th of February and Saturday, the 14th for a Valentine’s Day Fright to Remember!

 

Shake, Rattle and Roll at the Cutting Edge

Well, it’s been nearly a month since the NightScare Before Christmas, and already the natives grow restless at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas. In an effort to keep busy, some of the zombies put together a musical quartet, and are polishing up their act with the hopes of competing on American Idol or America’s Got Talent. Unfortunately, zombies can’t count.

The Cutting Edge Zombie Quartet -- Zombies Cant Count!
The Cutting Edge Zombie Quartet — Zombies Cant Count!

Not all zombies have musical talent, however (okay, not really any, but don’t let on), so the “jocks” of the zombie population organized a scratch football team, and have been hosting some local contenders from around the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

Things were going well for the team from Cutting Edge, known as The Blocking Dead, and so last week they went on the road for some away games against the True Bloodsuckers in Irving.

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Unfortunately, sportsmanlike conduct quickly went the way of the unbiased news report, with the True Bloodsuckers complaining that the Blocking Dead were bloodless, leaving them feeling dried out and dehydrated. The Blocking Dead, in turned, quickly tired of the Bloodsuckers turning into bats and flying away with the ball. After the Blocking Dead resorted to lighting the ball on fire, all hell broke loose and that’s when the earthquakes started.

For the record, Cutting Edge Haunted House categorically denies any connection whatsoever to the mysterious series of tremors experienced in the Irving area that just coincidentally occurred while their zombie football team was visiting.

Fortunately, the first Friday the 13th of 2015 is but five weeks away, on February the 13th. Hmm, sounds like a joint Friday the 13th, Valentine’s Day Extravaganza at the Cutting Edge. Is it possible? Check back and find out!

 

Top 10 Zombie New Year’s Resolutions for 2015

TOP10 copyContrary to popular belief, New Year’s resolutions are not just for the living. The undead, including zombies, also have a desire to improve their lot in life, and although they seldom keep them, they do come up with goals for the New Year, just like the rest of us. And what are the most popular New Year’s resolutions for a zombie? Here at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, we took a survey of our resident zombie population and came up with our last top 10 list of 2014. And here they are, the top 10 zombie New Year’s resolutions:

10. Eat less brains. Brains are high in cholesterol, and even zombies are prone to clogged arteries. Ever try getting a triple bypass when you’re already dead?

9. Keep the chainsaw oiled. Can’t have the thing jamming up when you’re hacking somebody up, after all.

8. Stay out of the bubble room. The soap bubbles (temporarily) wash away that exquisite aroma of decomposing flesh.

7. Eat more white meat. We zombies have to watch our weight, too. Eat less brains and fat, more lean protein, particularly cats, the other white meat.

6. Get TiVo, so we stop missing new episodes of The Walking Dead.

5. Hit the gym and pump some iron. Those chainsaws are heavy, and by the end of the night our arms are killing us!

4. Take up yoga. Scaring the crap out of people night after night can be very stressful. Yoga is a great way to relax and decompose — I mean, decompress…

3. Get a makeover. Even zombies like to change things up every once in a while. You know, some new threads, maybe a haircut and some new makeup.

2. Clean out the closets. Between the bats, the spiders, the snakes and the evil clowns, the closets at Cutting Edge are just packed to the gills.

1. Quit smoking, drinking and chasing women. Nah — just kidding! That’s the best part about being undead!

Whatever your goals are for 2015, we at Cutting Edge wish you a fruitful and productive New Year. Or, just do like the rest of us and blow it off in a couple of weeks…

Happy Holidays from Cutting Edge Haunted House

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We at the Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas wish you and yours a very scary Christmas. And just so you don’t get too bored with all the sickly sweet sentiments, annoying Christmas carols and general tidings of good cheer, we’ve come up with a few suggestions to help you keep Halloween in your heart during these trying times.

Slip a tarantula into Aunt Martha’s stocking. Won’t she be surprised when she reaches in for a gift and comes out with a giant hairy spider instead! After all, nothing says Christmas like a blood-curdling scream!

Slip a piece of rotten meat into the base of the Christmas tree. That’ll do away with that cloying pine scent and make the whole house smell like a crime scene.

Put a wreath made of dead branches on your door. They’re readily available from any craft store. Only don’t put anything on it, except maybe some spider webs and a plastic spider.

Bring your Haunted House CD to your neighbor’s Christmas party, and when they’re not looking, swap it out for their “Bing Crosby Christmas” album.

Wrap up a goalie mask for little Susie. Don’t forget to put “From Jason” on the label. She’ll have nightmares for weeks!

Put red food coloring in a glass of eggnog and leave it for Santa, in lieu of milk and cookies. Tell the kids it’s blood, because Santa got turned into a vampire.

Use black wrapping paper for all of your presents, and instead of a bow, embellish each one with a “bloody” handprint using red poster paint. Now THAT’S festive!

Wear fake vampire teeth and smile broadly for all your Christmas pictures, especially opening gifts Christmas morning. And be sure to keep your camera ready for when Aunt Martha reaches into her stocking. One viral YouTube video could pay for all of the hospital bills!

Above all, remember to keep Halloween in your heart, always, and have a very scary Christmas!

NightScare Before Christmas a Smashing Success

NightScareBeforeChristmasIf you didn’t make it out to Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth for the NightScare Before Christmas, you missed one heck of a night. We’re still cleaning up the mess.

Shortly after midnight, the zombie marching band and the drum line got into a smackdown and there are drumsticks, instruments and body parts everywhere.

Santa’s evil elves got into the eggnog and proceeded to paint lewd graffiti all over the walls with DayGlo paint.

Some wascally wabbit went nuts and cranked up the bubble machine, and now the whole place is full of soap bubbles.

We’re not sure where the snakes are.

There are 13 cars left in the parking lot, so if you left without your car, please come back and get it. If you’re still here, please go home.

If you found a keychain with a skull on it that says Cutting Edge Front Door Key, please return it. We’d like to go home too.

And if you’re one of the people who have filed a missing persons report because a friend or relative hasn’t made it out yet, rest assured, we’ve got the cadaver dogs — I mean, sheriff’s deputies out searching the grounds.

If you had a great time, you’re welcome. If you left without pants, we’re sorry. If you’re still here, please go home.

We at Cutting Edge want to wish you a Very Scary Christmas!

13 Days of Christmas at Cutting Edge Haunted House

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On the first day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the second day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the third day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the fourth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the fifth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the sixth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the seventh day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the eighth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the ninth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the tenth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, ten monsters mashing, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, eleven mummies rapping, ten monsters mashing, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — five evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the twelfth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, twelve ghouls a twerking, eleven mummies rapping, ten monsters mashing, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

On the thirteenth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, thirteen people screaming, twelve ghouls a twerking, eleven mummies rapping, ten monsters mashing, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.

Come see the 13 Days of Christmas at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth this Saturday, December 13th from 8 to 10 p.m., at the Nightscare Before Christmas!

Because it just isn’t Christmas if nobody’s screaming...

10 Creepy Things You Might Not Know About Santa Claus

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Better watch out — yes, indeed, you’d better watch out, it’s that time of year and the big man is coming to town. Before you get all agog with visions of dancing sugar plums, let us open your eyes to 10 creepy things you might not know about Santa Claus:

1. Santa wears red to cover up the bloodstains from all the naughty boys and girls.

2. If you feed Santa’s elves after midnight they will turn into evil gremlins.

3. Before Santa got the cute little reindeer, he had a team of giant Norway rats.

4. If Santa’s so rich and famous, how come he’s always hanging around outside the grocery store looking for a handout?

5. Is Santa really an anagram for Satan? Has anyone ever seen what’s really under that red hat?

6. There are more Santa impersonators than Elvis impersonators — and they all want you to sit on their lap. Now that’s disturbing!

7. What’s really in that bag he carries, and where is Mrs. Claus?

8. Santa has more aka’s than the shiftiest of confidence men.

9. Since the elves formed a union, all of Santa’s toys now come from a sweatshop in Honduras.

10. He sees you when you’re sleeping — ’nuff said!

Discover the dark, disturbing side of Christmas at Cutting Edge Haunted House’s Nightscare Before Christmas! This one-night only event takes place Saturday, December 13th from 8 to 10 p.m. Get your tickets online now and don’t miss out. Because nothing says Christmas like a bloodcurdling scream!

How to Tell if There’s a Zombie at Your Thanksgiving Dinner

You plan the perfect holiday meal, with a golden brown roast turkey and all the trimmings, invite all your friends and relatives and anticipate spending an afternoon feasting, laughing and making merry. And then a zombie goes and ruins it all by acting out and behaving badly, as zombies are wont to do. So how’s a Martha-Stewart-wannabe to know if there’s a zombie at your Thanksgiving dinner? Here are a few clues:

1. When you ask if he wants white meat or dark, he says “I prefer grey matter.” (Wait a minute, zombies can’t talk!)

2. He smears cranberry sauce all over his face and it looks eerily like blood.

3. You offer him a drumstick and he tries to beat you over the head with it.

4. He has a fixed, “1000-yard-stare.” (Check his I.D. — could just be a teenager.)

5. You try to make small talk and he just grunts. (We told you, zombies can’t talk.)

6. Whenever he enters the room, the pleasant aroma of roasting turkey is replaced by the odor of rotting flesh.

7. Instead of flowers or wine, he brings a chainsaw.

8. He’s the only one that didn’t come in a car.

9. He goes outside for some fresh air and your dog mysteriously goes missing.

10. After all the other guests are full, you find him rummaging in your refrigerator looking for some raw meat.

If your Thanksgiving meal does get ruined by a zombie, don’t despair. Just go online and get tickets to Cutting Edge Haunted House’s Nightscare Before Christmas one-night-only spectacular event on Saturday, December 13th. After all, as they say: If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!

 

Christmas is Coming to Cutting Edge Haunted House

Santa’s gone, and the elves have been very, very bad…

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Aww, Halloween is but a memory, and now you have nothing to look forward to until next October? Wrong!!!

Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth is offering Halloween lovers a chance to escape the sickly sweet joy and good cheer of the holidays, with a one-night-only Fear Extravaganza on Saturday, December 13th from 8 to 10 p.m.!

Dubbed the Nightscare Before Christmas, this special holiday performance will feature a look into what happens when the North Pole goes dark, and evil creatures of the night swoop in to gobble up all the candy canes.

After all, what’s Christmas without a few sinister clowns, chainsaw-wielding zombies and things that go bump in the night? Who needs caroling when you can scream at the top of your lungs to some heavy metal and acid rock on high def stereo? What’s the aroma of pine boughs and gingerbread cookies against the tantalizing odors of decomposing flesh, sweat and fear?

If you love Halloween, scary monsters, zombies, snakes, vampires, werewolves and all things creepy, save the date and get your tickets early. Saturday, December 13th at the Cutting Edge Haunted House is sure to be a night you can only hope to forget!