The Blog of The World's Largest Haunted House
Shortly after midnight, the zombie marching band and the drum line got into a smackdown and there are drumsticks, instruments and body parts everywhere.
Santa’s evil elves got into the eggnog and proceeded to paint lewd graffiti all over the walls with DayGlo paint.
Some wascally wabbit went nuts and cranked up the bubble machine, and now the whole place is full of soap bubbles.
We’re not sure where the snakes are.
There are 13 cars left in the parking lot, so if you left without your car, please come back and get it. If you’re still here, please go home.
If you found a keychain with a skull on it that says Cutting Edge Front Door Key, please return it. We’d like to go home too.
And if you’re one of the people who have filed a missing persons report because a friend or relative hasn’t made it out yet, rest assured, we’ve got the cadaver dogs — I mean, sheriff’s deputies out searching the grounds.
If you had a great time, you’re welcome. If you left without pants, we’re sorry. If you’re still here, please go home.
We at Cutting Edge want to wish you a Very Scary Christmas!
On the second day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the third day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the fourth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the fifth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the sixth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the seventh day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the eighth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the ninth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the tenth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, ten monsters mashing, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, eleven mummies rapping, ten monsters mashing, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — five evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the twelfth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, twelve ghouls a twerking, eleven mummies rapping, ten monsters mashing, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
On the thirteenth day of Christmas I saw at Cutting Edge, thirteen people screaming, twelve ghouls a twerking, eleven mummies rapping, ten monsters mashing, nine zombies marching, eight goblins dancing, seven chainsaws roaring, six creepy drummers — fiiive evil clowns — four werewolves, three dinosaurs, two anacondas and a giant scary monster truck hearse.
Come see the 13 Days of Christmas at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth this Saturday, December 13th from 8 to 10 p.m., at the Nightscare Before Christmas!
Because it just isn’t Christmas if nobody’s screaming...
Better watch out — yes, indeed, you’d better watch out, it’s that time of year and the big man is coming to town. Before you get all agog with visions of dancing sugar plums, let us open your eyes to 10 creepy things you might not know about Santa Claus:
1. Santa wears red to cover up the bloodstains from all the naughty boys and girls.
2. If you feed Santa’s elves after midnight they will turn into evil gremlins.
3. Before Santa got the cute little reindeer, he had a team of giant Norway rats.
4. If Santa’s so rich and famous, how come he’s always hanging around outside the grocery store looking for a handout?
5. Is Santa really an anagram for Satan? Has anyone ever seen what’s really under that red hat?
6. There are more Santa impersonators than Elvis impersonators — and they all want you to sit on their lap. Now that’s disturbing!
7. What’s really in that bag he carries, and where is Mrs. Claus?
8. Santa has more aka’s than the shiftiest of confidence men.
9. Since the elves formed a union, all of Santa’s toys now come from a sweatshop in Honduras.
10. He sees you when you’re sleeping — ’nuff said!
Discover the dark, disturbing side of Christmas at Cutting Edge Haunted House’s Nightscare Before Christmas! This one-night only event takes place Saturday, December 13th from 8 to 10 p.m. Get your tickets online now and don’t miss out. Because nothing says Christmas like a bloodcurdling scream!
You plan the perfect holiday meal, with a golden brown roast turkey and all the trimmings, invite all your friends and relatives and anticipate spending an afternoon feasting, laughing and making merry. And then a zombie goes and ruins it all by acting out and behaving badly, as zombies are wont to do. So how’s a Martha-Stewart-wannabe to know if there’s a zombie at your Thanksgiving dinner? Here are a few clues:
1. When you ask if he wants white meat or dark, he says “I prefer grey matter.” (Wait a minute, zombies can’t talk!)
2. He smears cranberry sauce all over his face and it looks eerily like blood.
3. You offer him a drumstick and he tries to beat you over the head with it.
4. He has a fixed, “1000-yard-stare.” (Check his I.D. — could just be a teenager.)
5. You try to make small talk and he just grunts. (We told you, zombies can’t talk.)
6. Whenever he enters the room, the pleasant aroma of roasting turkey is replaced by the odor of rotting flesh.
7. Instead of flowers or wine, he brings a chainsaw.
8. He’s the only one that didn’t come in a car.
9. He goes outside for some fresh air and your dog mysteriously goes missing.
10. After all the other guests are full, you find him rummaging in your refrigerator looking for some raw meat.
If your Thanksgiving meal does get ruined by a zombie, don’t despair. Just go online and get tickets to Cutting Edge Haunted House’s Nightscare Before Christmas one-night-only spectacular event on Saturday, December 13th. After all, as they say: If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!
Santa’s gone, and the elves have been very, very bad…
Aww, Halloween is but a memory, and now you have nothing to look forward to until next October? Wrong!!!
Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth is offering Halloween lovers a chance to escape the sickly sweet joy and good cheer of the holidays, with a one-night-only Fear Extravaganza on Saturday, December 13th from 8 to 10 p.m.!
Dubbed the Nightscare Before Christmas, this special holiday performance will feature a look into what happens when the North Pole goes dark, and evil creatures of the night swoop in to gobble up all the candy canes.
After all, what’s Christmas without a few sinister clowns, chainsaw-wielding zombies and things that go bump in the night? Who needs caroling when you can scream at the top of your lungs to some heavy metal and acid rock on high def stereo? What’s the aroma of pine boughs and gingerbread cookies against the tantalizing odors of decomposing flesh, sweat and fear?
If you love Halloween, scary monsters, zombies, snakes, vampires, werewolves and all things creepy, save the date and get your tickets early. Saturday, December 13th at the Cutting Edge Haunted House is sure to be a night you can only hope to forget!
The big day has arrived – Halloween, and what a haunting season it has been! Scoring top honors as usual, including your second place pick in HauntedHouseRatings.com’s Victim’s Choice Awards, the third place slot in Fangoria’s Top Ten Scariest U.S.-based Haunted Attractions, and the number three spot in Fox News’ Five Most Terrifying Haunted Houses in America, Cutting Edge was also recently featured on Fort Worth’s Channel 11 morning show.
We’ve all had a wonderful time doing what we love to do — scare the living daylights out of everyone who dares to enter. We’ve had record attendance, and enjoyed every minute of every performance. Thank you all for making this such a terrific season!
But it’s not over yet! It’s Halloween, our biggest night of the year, and we hope you’ll include us in your festivities. It’s sure to be a real scream of a celebration! We’re going all out to make this the best Halloween ever — a night you can only hope to forget.
In fact, we’ll be open through November 2nd, so if you haven’t had your fill of Halloween after the big night has passed, we’ve got you covered! If you haven’t made it out to Cutting Edge this season, what are you waiting for? It’s killer entertainment!
10. Why did the zombie cross the road? To eat your brains!
9. How many evil clowns does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to unscrew the bulb, and two to smother you in the ensuing darkness!
8. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a zombie? A politician!
7. A vampire, a werewolf and a French golf pro walk into a bar. The vampire orders a Bloody Mary, while the werewolf orders a Wolfram. The bartender looks at the golf pro. “What about you?” he asks, “French Connection? Four Score?” “Mais non, Monsieur,” answers the French golf pro. “I am driving!”
6. What did one haunted house owner say to another? “My mummy can beat up your mummy!”
5. What’s the relationship between demons and ghouls? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
4. What do mummies do on vacation? Relax and unwind.
3. Dracula, Frankenstein and a zombie are in a small plane that’s about to crash, and there is only one parachute. “Save yourselves,” says Dracula. “I’m a bat, I can fly.” “I’m already dead,” say the zombie, handing the parachute to Frankenstein. “You take it.” So Frankenstein puts on the parachute and leaves the airplane. “Finally, he’s gone,” says Dracula, starting up the plane’s engine. “Now we can light up without him wrecking the plane. Pass me a cigarette!”
2. How do you know a werewolf has been using your shower? Your towels have that wet dog smell!
1. Knock knock? Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use screaming; your worst nightmare has arrived!
Don’t wait for your nightmares to come to you — beat them to the punch, at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas! Open every night through Halloween weekend. Or are you too scared?
Finally, it’s Halloween week, and the big night is just days away! If you’re like us, you’ll want to savor every moment as our favorite holiday approaches, to get the most out of this most fantazmagorik time of year. So here are ten fun things to do to get you in the spirit of Halloween!
10. See how many different costumes you can create using just your cat.
9. Hone your pumpkin carving skills by carving evil faces into the guest bathroom soap.
8. Eat all the Halloween candy that you bought for trick-or-treaters — hey, you can still get more.
7. Hide in the bushes and scare the living daylights out of your postal carrier.
6. Put up crime scene tape in your front yard and draw a chalk outline of a body on your driveway.
5. Hard boil all the eggs in the fridge and put them back in the carton, so your teenager will get a big surprise when he goes to egg someone’s house on Halloween night.
4. Wear black lipstick and heavy eyeliner to work every day this week, and sip tomato juice from an IV bag with a straw.
3. Rig your doorbell to play spooky organ music and answer the door in a Morticia Adams wig.
2. Get out your chainsaw and hack up everything you can find in the back yard.
1. Get your Halloween on at Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, open every night through Halloween weekend!
Do you know the difference between a gargoyle and a chimera? Read on to find out!
1. Gargoyles were originally designed as water spouts, to carry rainwater from a roof and away from the side of a building, so that it wouldn’t run down the masonry and erode the mortar. A trough cut in the gargoyle’s back catches the rainwater, which then exits through the open mouth.
2. The longer the gargoyle, the further the water would be carried from the walls, which is why they’re usually carved into a very long, fantastic looking creature.
3. Although gargoyles come in many forms, most are carved into grotesque, hideous looking creatures in order to frighten off evil spirits from the buildings which they guard.
4. An ornamental gargoyle that is not constructed as a waterspout is technically called a chimera or boss.
5. Running from 1994 to 1996, “Gargoyles” was Disney’s most popular cartoon series, inspiring an intense fan following. It was so popular it even inspired an annual fan convention starting in 1997, called “The Gathering of the Gargoyles.” Sadly, it was officially discontinued in 2009.
6. Many of the character voices on the Gargoyles show were those of regular Star Trek cast members, including Marina Sirtis, Colm Meaney, Jonathan Frakes, Nichelle Nichols, Michael Dorn, Avery Brooks, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Kate Mulgrew, David Warner and Paul Winfield. What, no Patrick Stewart?
7. The empire strikes back — not to be left out, the dreaded Star Wars villain Darth Vader is featured as a gargoyle — or chimera, actually, on the northwest tower of the Washington National Cathedral. While the towers were under construction in the 1980s, a nationwide children’s competition was held to design decorative sculptures for the building, which were then sculpted, carved and placed high on the rooftops. Submitted by third-place winner Christopher Rader, Darth Vader is perched high on the northwest tower, where you’ll need a good pair of binoculars to spot him.
8. While England basically put the kaybash on gargoyles around the end of the 18th century, passing a law that all modern buildings must have drainpipes, they continued to be popular in the U.S., particularly New York and Chicago throughout the 19th and 20th centuries. Most notable are the stainless steel gargoyles fashioned after hood ornaments on the world famous Chrysler Building.
9. The term gargoyle originates from the French word gargouille, which means throat or gullet. Appropriately, the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is famous for its gargoyles and chimeras, which are clearly visible from the ground and look out over Paris.
10. The most beloved haunted house gargoyle (although technically a chimera) is “Junior,” a 35-foot grotesque statue busting through the roof some 35 feet tall at Cutting Edge Haunted House. Come see Junior and all of his freaky friends, now through Halloween weekend right here in Forth Worth! And tell ‘em Junior sent you!
Autumn has officially arrived in Fort Worth, Texas, and with it, the opening of world-renowned Cutting Edge Haunted House for the 2014 haunting season. And every fall, as the leaves turn to brilliant shades of orange and red and pumpkin patches spring up almost overnight around Fort Worth, HauntedHouseRatings.com announces the winners of their Victim’s Choice Awards, a who’s who of the top 31 “must see” haunts around the nation. And coming in at the number two spot this year is Fort Worth’s own Cutting Edge Haunted House!
Haunted attractions cannot pay to get on the Top 31 list at HauntedHouseRatings.com, nor can they bribe the Russian judge. There are no paid judges in this competition. The judges in the Victim’s Choice awards are the general public; the avid fans who go online and vote for their favorite haunted houses every year, and the fans they have spoken. Cutting Edge rocks!
While just making it on the list at all is an honor worth breaking out the old baseball bat and knee-capping someone, Cutting Edge Haunted House is a heavy hitter that routinely finishes near the top, and this year has the attraction squarely in second place, behind powerhouse 13th Gate in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
“This is Texas, what do you expect,” explains Cutting Edge’s haunt-meister, Todd James. “We’re bigger, we’re badder and we’ve got more zombies than anyone else. It’s a no-brainer.” And what does James plan to do now that he’s achieved this latest honor? “Well we’re sure as heck not going to Disneyland,” he says. “I’d rather go to Cutting Edge Haunted House!”
And so can you! Because Cutting Edge Haunted House is open every night through Halloween weekend! Get your tickets online using the code “Fear 33″ and save $5 off your admission for Thursday and Sunday night (that’s October 23rd and 26th for those of you who have been spending too much time drinking vodka with the Russian judge….)
You have nothing to fear but fear itself — Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha …